04 March 2009
to whom it may concern.
Im fucking depressed, weak and yes u may think im lame and psychotic or whatever you wanna think of me, i dont care. I love you and i know you do too or atleast i think you do. You know why i wanna try? I told you. I texted you. I need you around to actually do this with me. Please say you'll give it your best sayang. Im doing my best to preserve what we have and im not willing to let go of something so good. Its just not worth all the sacrifice weve made before. please dont go. please think about it, you know we can work it out if we wanted it to.
01 March 2009
sunday hampir ke monday.
fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fuckety fuckkkkkkk.. Babiiinessssss... SHITTTTTTTT... Stress STRESS.. flu oh flu i hate thou, please leave thy nose and throat.. it hurts.. palat sial sakit2 at this hour.. my mom is spoiling me indeed, tapi... APAkAH!! I dowan la, she manja sambil membebel.. PENING LAH KOT.. Haihhh mothers... So so so so sooooo.. I have two more painting to do, and a presentation to do. All by tonight, adakah diriku akan berjaya? mungkin... Heehee ;)) currently listening to diana krall and its raining, how sweet can this be.. Omgawsh..i nak balik s.a dah, waiting for cik pek ah, dah ar hujannn neyhh, aku memang tak suka hujan. Hujan jahat. kalau boleh smua benda aku nak maki skarang ni.. i dont feel comfortableee!!! :(( waaaa. Helppp hellppp. Me nose sumbat, me throat feels like i had rocks and sand for dinner.. wargh.. esok i must GO to CLASS!! No alasan nak memontengkan diri!! MUSTTT MUSSSSTTTTTT!! Okay, i shall leave now, mahu kemas lagi sikit.. I nak merajuk dengan u kejap boleh? tak tanya khabar i ponn!!!!! :( sampaiii heartmu.. haihh takpe lah.. xoxo, luvv ya.
sundayyayyyayyyayyyyy
sunday passed, man my chest feels like crap. i couldnt sleep well, i was coughing like nobody's business. fuck that. Im so tired of this crap. I cant believe i melecurkan my finger for some stupid caramel pudding. But this one jadi la. hehehe. More water, less sugar!! Ummm, what else ekk. I dah banyak kali cuba sampai banyak bekas plastic i ada all bocor, too hot la kan the caramel. Fark. Heheh. my oh my the flu, fever and whatnot. Annoys me to the max. I tak boleh skip classes anymore. Dah cam banyak je. If im not feeling well, i'll go to the clinic tomorow to get myself checked again. This time im just crossing my fingers and hope it wont cost me another 85 bucks. Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Yes i like to curse right now. men think women as objects, sex slaves, get whatever they want and all, well here's my piece of advice, men loooove bitches, noooo doubt about that okay, but you men ticks us off by not being responsible and so relaxed which somehow get on my fucking nervves and yet still ada courtesy to paksa when the NO was smacked in your face. I mean, which part of no dont u people understand la kan. Kau ingat smua nak main je ke. Smua nak memantat je ka. treat girls with respect, maybe then you'll get some in return. Were not touch and go's. We are not your laundremat. God gave us brains, so USE IT. And stop STOP STOP contacting me. You annoy the shit outta me, konon buat cite kesian awek macam ni macam tu. fuck off la okay? Youre a nice guy (kot) , find someone else. I refuse to be your chia. Never was , never will be.
Tauuuu tak, i choked on my phlegm semalam. Lawak but it almost made me suffocate malam2. Hahahah. Seram gak r. Im reading a book entitled why men love bitches, sooo intriguing and fascinating. Facts you dont know about a guy, a woman. something i'd so force people to buy and read if i was the prime minister. hahaha. I cant believe how some people can be so fake and such hypocretes. I beenciiiii kottt. Sudah laa, nak kasi advice and all then nak act out all good and giving me the padan muka thing. PFFFFFFFFFFt. Save yo breath aite, i aint interested.
Soooo malam menjelma, i mau siap siap and then shah aaaaaaalam, here i come. fark. Bosan bosan bosan!! urgh. its time to bersengkang mata sebentar lagi, siapkan my work. x0xo i love you, you know i do. dah ar ske baca ornag nye blog.. hishhh stalker :P takpe youre my cute boonch stalker!
muahmuahmuahmuah, banyak-banyak cinta!
-dellness-
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Yes i like to curse right now. men think women as objects, sex slaves, get whatever they want and all, well here's my piece of advice, men loooove bitches, noooo doubt about that okay, but you men ticks us off by not being responsible and so relaxed which somehow get on my fucking nervves and yet still ada courtesy to paksa when the NO was smacked in your face. I mean, which part of no dont u people understand la kan. Kau ingat smua nak main je ke. Smua nak memantat je ka. treat girls with respect, maybe then you'll get some in return. Were not touch and go's. We are not your laundremat. God gave us brains, so USE IT. And stop STOP STOP contacting me. You annoy the shit outta me, konon buat cite kesian awek macam ni macam tu. fuck off la okay? Youre a nice guy (kot) , find someone else. I refuse to be your chia. Never was , never will be.
Tauuuu tak, i choked on my phlegm semalam. Lawak but it almost made me suffocate malam2. Hahahah. Seram gak r. Im reading a book entitled why men love bitches, sooo intriguing and fascinating. Facts you dont know about a guy, a woman. something i'd so force people to buy and read if i was the prime minister. hahaha. I cant believe how some people can be so fake and such hypocretes. I beenciiiii kottt. Sudah laa, nak kasi advice and all then nak act out all good and giving me the padan muka thing. PFFFFFFFFFFt. Save yo breath aite, i aint interested.
Soooo malam menjelma, i mau siap siap and then shah aaaaaaalam, here i come. fark. Bosan bosan bosan!! urgh. its time to bersengkang mata sebentar lagi, siapkan my work. x0xo i love you, you know i do. dah ar ske baca ornag nye blog.. hishhh stalker :P takpe youre my cute boonch stalker!
muahmuahmuahmuah, banyak-banyak cinta!
-dellness-
28 February 2009
saturdayayyyayyyyayyyyyy
Hoohaa! today feels good although im sick. Redah je la, no smoke around me at this moment. I tetiba rasa rimas lak, with a throat like this and a nose like that heehee kejap je pun. Who knows its a good sign for me to stop all of the nonsense? :) Well im gonna shower now!! I love you babyy!!
dear you.
Maybe period's doing the talking for me right now la kan tapi belom dapat lagii. Hmmm i pon taktau lah, im being so emotional and it makes me sick to see myself like this haihhh. Sakit badan! dah la i got fever and sore throat, bad case of throat-rash hahaha. throat rash ka? I dont know the medic terms. I couldnt sleep last night. tossing and turning and i woke up with my head spinning. Thinking of leaving uni, going to do something else. If the life aint goin so well, i'm considering my options to which uni im heading next. 24 k, full loan,1 year and a half, 2 majors, hmmm. macam menarik but ive never heard of that uni before. So, i'd have to sit and ask mom abt it. Feels like im not meant to be an AD student. hmmm. So anyway semalam i went to the clinic , and i had to pay like 85 bucks. RIPOFF GILE BABI KOT. There goes my money, on meds. Sheesh. What a day!! This whole week left me in tears. Sah2 period aku nak datang la ni. Huhu well well
B i needed an assurance if the love if still there ke tak, tu ja. but maybe im overracting to the situation. Kalau ya, sorry la. I wanna understand you, i do. i want to be with you so much. I dont have anyone on my mind except you. i feel like were drifting apart la kan, i mean if the love is gone, tell me. Dont be with me cause you dont wanna hurt me and pity me. A little bit of effort will just do sayang, im not asking much, just a lil bit of your time. I think of you eveyday, about us and all. I know its hard for us, but i think we can work it out if we want to. If im too pushy and u wanna back off, fine. Im sorry. I tak rasa i pushy pun, i just get these weird vibes and i'm feeling that were drifting apart, like there's a huge gap between us. if the love aint there anymore, i want you to be happy and if being happy to u means leaving me, as much as i hate it, do lah. From day one, you were a cool guy i thought i'd end up being buddies with. then the feelings came in. I wasnt sure what it was. But recently you changed, i dont know why. I want to know why, please open up to me. I understand some issue are confidential, but issues between us? whats so private about that, its only me and u in it. I dont wanna think if theres another person in the relationship.
Hmmm Its called a relationship, a two way thing. I swear i wanna be with you for ever kalau dizinkan. I read all your previous text you sent me and now, i dont feel like you love me anymore. The difference is just so.. much. You want me to leave you first is it? I made time for you even at the slightest busy moment. I just wanted more of your attention, tu je. Sometimes i feel like i have no one to talk to at all. I feel lonely. I turn to you for comfort whenever im down. I love spending time and i miss the times i had with you back then. If we were to be nothing now, i wish i could turn back time so i wouldnt have to fall in love with you. The girls are far away, although its a dial away la kan, i have you with me and im content with you. Youre like a bestfriend + lover anyone could ever wish for. But if you love someone, the term busy doesnt really exist on certain circumstances.
I miss you, i love you and i do wanna be with you. If you said youre tired and dont wanna talk about it, i faham you tak suka talk about this thing. Guys are like that kot. Hmmm Im in the state of fear of losing someone and something so good in life and thats YOU. I feel so clueless and helpless. Maybe i changed, maybe u. I dont know. i'm lost. Its definitely sad to findout someday all this while, i bertepuk sebelah tangan. I just need your assurance and passion, attention, i dont know... if its so hard to give, i dont know what else to say. Please dont go. I sayang you sangat-sangat.
-me-.
B i needed an assurance if the love if still there ke tak, tu ja. but maybe im overracting to the situation. Kalau ya, sorry la. I wanna understand you, i do. i want to be with you so much. I dont have anyone on my mind except you. i feel like were drifting apart la kan, i mean if the love is gone, tell me. Dont be with me cause you dont wanna hurt me and pity me. A little bit of effort will just do sayang, im not asking much, just a lil bit of your time. I think of you eveyday, about us and all. I know its hard for us, but i think we can work it out if we want to. If im too pushy and u wanna back off, fine. Im sorry. I tak rasa i pushy pun, i just get these weird vibes and i'm feeling that were drifting apart, like there's a huge gap between us. if the love aint there anymore, i want you to be happy and if being happy to u means leaving me, as much as i hate it, do lah. From day one, you were a cool guy i thought i'd end up being buddies with. then the feelings came in. I wasnt sure what it was. But recently you changed, i dont know why. I want to know why, please open up to me. I understand some issue are confidential, but issues between us? whats so private about that, its only me and u in it. I dont wanna think if theres another person in the relationship.
Hmmm Its called a relationship, a two way thing. I swear i wanna be with you for ever kalau dizinkan. I read all your previous text you sent me and now, i dont feel like you love me anymore. The difference is just so.. much. You want me to leave you first is it? I made time for you even at the slightest busy moment. I just wanted more of your attention, tu je. Sometimes i feel like i have no one to talk to at all. I feel lonely. I turn to you for comfort whenever im down. I love spending time and i miss the times i had with you back then. If we were to be nothing now, i wish i could turn back time so i wouldnt have to fall in love with you. The girls are far away, although its a dial away la kan, i have you with me and im content with you. Youre like a bestfriend + lover anyone could ever wish for. But if you love someone, the term busy doesnt really exist on certain circumstances.
I miss you, i love you and i do wanna be with you. If you said youre tired and dont wanna talk about it, i faham you tak suka talk about this thing. Guys are like that kot. Hmmm Im in the state of fear of losing someone and something so good in life and thats YOU. I feel so clueless and helpless. Maybe i changed, maybe u. I dont know. i'm lost. Its definitely sad to findout someday all this while, i bertepuk sebelah tangan. I just need your assurance and passion, attention, i dont know... if its so hard to give, i dont know what else to say. Please dont go. I sayang you sangat-sangat.
-me-.