dear you.

Maybe period's doing the talking for me right now la kan tapi belom dapat lagii. Hmmm i pon taktau lah, im being so emotional and it makes me sick to see myself like this haihhh. Sakit badan! dah la i got fever and sore throat, bad case of throat-rash hahaha. throat rash ka? I dont know the medic terms. I couldnt sleep last night. tossing and turning and i woke up with my head spinning. Thinking of leaving uni, going to do something else. If the life aint goin so well, i'm considering my options to which uni im heading next. 24 k, full loan,1 year and a half, 2 majors, hmmm. macam menarik but ive never heard of that uni before. So, i'd have to sit and ask mom abt it. Feels like im not meant to be an AD student. hmmm. So anyway semalam i went to the clinic , and i had to pay like 85 bucks. RIPOFF GILE BABI KOT. There goes my money, on meds. Sheesh. What a day!! This whole week left me in tears. Sah2 period aku nak datang la ni. Huhu well well

B i needed an assurance if the love if still there ke tak, tu ja. but maybe im overracting to the situation. Kalau ya, sorry la. I wanna understand you, i do. i want to be with you so much. I dont have anyone on my mind except you. i feel like were drifting apart la kan, i mean if the love is gone, tell me. Dont be with me cause you dont wanna hurt me and pity me. A little bit of effort will just do sayang, im not asking much, just a lil bit of your time. I think of you eveyday, about us and all. I know its hard for us, but i think we can work it out if we want to. If im too pushy and u wanna back off, fine. Im sorry. I tak rasa i pushy pun, i just get these weird vibes and i'm feeling that were drifting apart, like there's a huge gap between us. if the love aint there anymore, i want you to be happy and if being happy to u means leaving me, as much as i hate it, do lah. From day one, you were a cool guy i thought i'd end up being buddies with. then the feelings came in. I wasnt sure what it was. But recently you changed, i dont know why. I want to know why, please open up to me. I understand some issue are confidential, but issues between us? whats so private about that, its only me and u in it. I dont wanna think if theres another person in the relationship.

Hmmm Its called a relationship, a two way thing. I swear i wanna be with you for ever kalau dizinkan. I read all your previous text you sent me and now, i dont feel like you love me anymore. The difference is just so.. much. You want me to leave you first is it? I made time for you even at the slightest busy moment. I just wanted more of your attention, tu je. Sometimes i feel like i have no one to talk to at all. I feel lonely. I turn to you for comfort whenever im down. I love spending time and i miss the times i had with you back then. If we were to be nothing now, i wish i could turn back time so i wouldnt have to fall in love with you. The girls are far away, although its a dial away la kan, i have you with me and im content with you. Youre like a bestfriend + lover anyone could ever wish for. But if you love someone, the term busy doesnt really exist on certain circumstances.

I miss you, i love you and i do wanna be with you. If you said youre tired and dont wanna talk about it, i faham you tak suka talk about this thing. Guys are like that kot. Hmmm Im in the state of fear of losing someone and something so good in life and thats YOU. I feel so clueless and helpless. Maybe i changed, maybe u. I dont know. i'm lost. Its definitely sad to findout someday all this while, i bertepuk sebelah tangan. I just need your assurance and passion, attention, i dont know... if its so hard to give, i dont know what else to say. Please dont go. I sayang you sangat-sangat.

-me-.