1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out. (CARDINAL RULE)
2. Don't say you understand when you don't.
3. Girls are petty; get over it. We like to start fights.
4. You don't have PMS, so don't act like you know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me you never will.
5. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
6. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
8. It's good to be sensitive sometimes.
9. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
10. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it, but it is extremely sweet.
11. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
12. We are Drama queens; never forget that.
13. Fashion police do exist.
14. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
15. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
16. We don't shave our legs everyday: get over it.
17. Don't make bets about us; we always find out; you may think we don't know, but WE DO!
18. Shave! No matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it. We like clean-cut men.
19. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.
20. Don't compare us to Pamela Anderson; parts of her are fake, just remember that. (Remember: you have a better shot at us than you ever will have with her.)
21. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
22. We are beautiful at all times.
23. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.
24. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can't you aim in the toilet and not on it.
25. Most importantly: we are always right in one way or another so don't forget that!
26. Understand how to keep us happy with you.
15 January 2010
;)
Found this in one of my ooooooold post. lol. mamat ni kering ati tol.
http://www.blogger.com/feeds/9017663610586709506/posts/default
KEPIMPINAN BARU MERUBAH PARADIGMA BANGSA KU - 'MELAYU' KETUANANMU DI ATAS AGAMA YANG SATU
Di mana boleh cari ramai Melayu
Pastinya di Kelantan dan Terengganu
Dan juga di pasar malam dan pasar minggu
Di Akademi Fantasia dan Pesta Lagu
Di Jom Heboh orang Melayu berpusu-pusu
Di Sungai Buloh, pusat pemulihan, dulu di Pudu
Dan di jalan, lumba haram, rempit tak berlampu
Dan di selekoh duit rasuah depa pun sapu
Di pusat serenti akibat ketagih dadah dan chandu
Di malam kemerdekaan dan malam tahun baru
Terkinja-kinja best giler menari macam hantu
Apa hobi orang Melayu
Terkenal dengan budaya malas dan lesu
Berlepak buang masa tak jemu-jemu
Atau baca majalah Mastika, Metro pasal cerita hantu
Tengok telenovela dari Filipina dan Peru
Berpusu-pusu pergi tengok pamiran hantu
Sambil makan junk food, kuaci dan muruku
Sibuk bercerita tentang Datuk K dapat bini baru
Apa pakaian Siti nak pakai itu yang nak tahu
Mana tak gendut berpenyakit selalu
Kalau nak berlagak melayu masih nombor satu
Asal bergaya sanggup makan nasi dan toyu
Boleh tak jumpa mereka di kedai buku
Atau di perpustakaan dan majlis ilmu
Atau ambil kelas kemahiran di hujung minggu
Ada tapi kurang sangat mereka di situ
Kenapa melayu jadi begitu
Nak salahkan siapa ibubapa atau guru
Pemimpin negara atau raja dulu-dulu
Ayat lazim di mulut ialah Melayu malas selalu
Nak harap Kerajaan saja membantu
Terutama sekali kontraktor kelas satu
Tak habis-habis gaduh nak jatuh siapa dulu
pasal jambatan senggek atau siapa dia penghulu
Dan suka sanggat dengan budaya ampu mengampu
Sampai bila kita nak tunggu
Bangsa Melayu jadi bangsa yang maju
BOleh! dengan beberapa syarat tertentu
Pertama dengan banyak menguasai ilmu
Kata nabi ikutlah Quran dan sunnah ku
AlQuran yang diturunkan 1400 tahun dahulu
tapi apa yang kita tahu, cuma baca bila nak halau hantu "
RAJA PERTRA II
http://www.blogger.com/feeds/9017663610586709506/posts/default
KEPIMPINAN BARU MERUBAH PARADIGMA BANGSA KU - 'MELAYU' KETUANANMU DI ATAS AGAMA YANG SATU
Di mana boleh cari ramai Melayu
Pastinya di Kelantan dan Terengganu
Dan juga di pasar malam dan pasar minggu
Di Akademi Fantasia dan Pesta Lagu
Di Jom Heboh orang Melayu berpusu-pusu
Di Sungai Buloh, pusat pemulihan, dulu di Pudu
Dan di jalan, lumba haram, rempit tak berlampu
Dan di selekoh duit rasuah depa pun sapu
Di pusat serenti akibat ketagih dadah dan chandu
Di malam kemerdekaan dan malam tahun baru
Terkinja-kinja best giler menari macam hantu
Apa hobi orang Melayu
Terkenal dengan budaya malas dan lesu
Berlepak buang masa tak jemu-jemu
Atau baca majalah Mastika, Metro pasal cerita hantu
Tengok telenovela dari Filipina dan Peru
Berpusu-pusu pergi tengok pamiran hantu
Sambil makan junk food, kuaci dan muruku
Sibuk bercerita tentang Datuk K dapat bini baru
Apa pakaian Siti nak pakai itu yang nak tahu
Mana tak gendut berpenyakit selalu
Kalau nak berlagak melayu masih nombor satu
Asal bergaya sanggup makan nasi dan toyu
Boleh tak jumpa mereka di kedai buku
Atau di perpustakaan dan majlis ilmu
Atau ambil kelas kemahiran di hujung minggu
Ada tapi kurang sangat mereka di situ
Kenapa melayu jadi begitu
Nak salahkan siapa ibubapa atau guru
Pemimpin negara atau raja dulu-dulu
Ayat lazim di mulut ialah Melayu malas selalu
Nak harap Kerajaan saja membantu
Terutama sekali kontraktor kelas satu
Tak habis-habis gaduh nak jatuh siapa dulu
pasal jambatan senggek atau siapa dia penghulu
Dan suka sanggat dengan budaya ampu mengampu
Sampai bila kita nak tunggu
Bangsa Melayu jadi bangsa yang maju
BOleh! dengan beberapa syarat tertentu
Pertama dengan banyak menguasai ilmu
Kata nabi ikutlah Quran dan sunnah ku
AlQuran yang diturunkan 1400 tahun dahulu
tapi apa yang kita tahu, cuma baca bila nak halau hantu "
RAJA PERTRA II
hello hello .
being all pijak kepala by some people is not cool at all. let alone to have your life being controlled by people's opinion. no, those things are meant to make you stronger kan but if too much i think boleh mati la kan. Being too "idontgiveafuck-ish" or maybe blinded by the whole "sabar" word at MOST of the time can seriously break me lah. Bukan ape, i am patient la kan unless if you get on my last nerves, i dont wanna see your fucking face again. But what makes me not able to strike dow. i dont know. why am i just so fuckin soft when it comes to things like this?? Nggak ada jawapan untuk diriku, apatah lagi untuk kalian. I mean my whole life kan, it consist of bad and negative impacts, no doubt it all has made me wiser, but then when the whole regret shit starts to kick in and all, time tu la aku dah start mengenang nasib. Im thankful for shit that happened to me, if not i wouldn't be where i am today la kan.. still figuring where i should be tho.
This is like a pointless blog im doin here, but bare with me folks. im just stating out what i feel. Sometimes i wonder what friends are. I shouldn't be questioning this, but pernah tak you felt betrayed ke apa ke before this. Seriously kan, kadang-kadang aku fed up sial dapat kawan cam pantat. birdbrain berlagak cam bagus, but the fact that they're fucked up deep down inside, denial is the word that explains it all. we all live in denial kan. bipolar disorder ke schizophrenia ke. sukati kau la nak cakap apa kan. i dont suffer from those, but i think some people do, they just dont realize it :). ahahaha. i think that'll be a good informative speech now for my BEL innit? Well it should be. I dont like the whole uitm thinggamajigga at the mo' coz they rescheduled my whole effing timetable and now its all scattered. i mean wtf, kalau camtu baik tayahhhh ade online registration, ni smua SANGAT DIKESALI OLEH RAMAI PIHAK. kimak tol. i mean have a proper system for crying out loud, tau la fees murah takyah la gampang gini. adoiai. Dah la i cannot get along with the class people, i mean frok my previous group kan ada like.. 5 of us je kot. wtf kan? URGH. Geram. Can i pls tukar group? Me no likeyy me group
And one more thing, i mean u dont have the balls to face me like a man, i dont know why. Biar lah. you wanted a "change" kan. Did you even change a bit? hahah. Dont la make me laugh wei. God bless you je lah. Time is tickin yo, time to think abt your future. Didnt i say dont make any contact? Although i saw you a couple of times already but you didnt realize *phewhh* I dont know, i just buat bodoh la and sumpah my friends were like omg omg omg. But wtf right, ive got better things to do than reminiscing on something painful and devastating. 2009 and below was fucked. Im saying hello to 2010 ! so it means goodbye to you and everything and everyone else! Imma live ma life the way i should and if you dont like it, its cool. Fuck you :) betul cakap kau rupert, kalau mati pon, mati sorang kan. I tend to be fickle minded at times, indecisive and what kills me the most, being stucked in the middle or stucked with no jalan keluar. Hmm kelemahan 101. ahaha.
Okay chup, nanti esok ke something i sambung balik because as for now i gotta roll. Got work to do and i gotta go dinner yo. Assignment dah bertambah pulak dah kan, lepas tu skarang ni laptop takdeee WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Bencisss. Hmm. Gotta practice me mandarin tho ;) hihihi. xoxo! love love ya'll.
Ps* stop stalking me la ;)
This is like a pointless blog im doin here, but bare with me folks. im just stating out what i feel. Sometimes i wonder what friends are. I shouldn't be questioning this, but pernah tak you felt betrayed ke apa ke before this. Seriously kan, kadang-kadang aku fed up sial dapat kawan cam pantat. birdbrain berlagak cam bagus, but the fact that they're fucked up deep down inside, denial is the word that explains it all. we all live in denial kan. bipolar disorder ke schizophrenia ke. sukati kau la nak cakap apa kan. i dont suffer from those, but i think some people do, they just dont realize it :). ahahaha. i think that'll be a good informative speech now for my BEL innit? Well it should be. I dont like the whole uitm thinggamajigga at the mo' coz they rescheduled my whole effing timetable and now its all scattered. i mean wtf, kalau camtu baik tayahhhh ade online registration, ni smua SANGAT DIKESALI OLEH RAMAI PIHAK. kimak tol. i mean have a proper system for crying out loud, tau la fees murah takyah la gampang gini. adoiai. Dah la i cannot get along with the class people, i mean frok my previous group kan ada like.. 5 of us je kot. wtf kan? URGH. Geram. Can i pls tukar group? Me no likeyy me group
And one more thing, i mean u dont have the balls to face me like a man, i dont know why. Biar lah. you wanted a "change" kan. Did you even change a bit? hahah. Dont la make me laugh wei. God bless you je lah. Time is tickin yo, time to think abt your future. Didnt i say dont make any contact? Although i saw you a couple of times already but you didnt realize *phewhh* I dont know, i just buat bodoh la and sumpah my friends were like omg omg omg. But wtf right, ive got better things to do than reminiscing on something painful and devastating. 2009 and below was fucked. Im saying hello to 2010 ! so it means goodbye to you and everything and everyone else! Imma live ma life the way i should and if you dont like it, its cool. Fuck you :) betul cakap kau rupert, kalau mati pon, mati sorang kan. I tend to be fickle minded at times, indecisive and what kills me the most, being stucked in the middle or stucked with no jalan keluar. Hmm kelemahan 101. ahaha.
Okay chup, nanti esok ke something i sambung balik because as for now i gotta roll. Got work to do and i gotta go dinner yo. Assignment dah bertambah pulak dah kan, lepas tu skarang ni laptop takdeee WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Bencisss. Hmm. Gotta practice me mandarin tho ;) hihihi. xoxo! love love ya'll.
Ps* stop stalking me la ;)
the random things..
Things Idiots Ponder .......
Why oh why are there Braille letters on drive up ATM machines?
Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."
What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.
Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?
Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own?
All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect the horses to do, anyway?
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a Danish!"
Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."
Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
Did you see these new minivan ads? All they talk about are cup holders, kiddie seats and doors. What kind of advertising is that? When you see an ad for a suit, do they say, "And look at the zipper! Carefully hidden, but easily accessible when you need it!" I think not.
"Is it true that you smoke eight to ten cigars a day?"
"That's true."
"Is it true that you drink five martinis a day?"
"That's true."
"Is it true that you still surround yourself with beautiful young women?"
"That's true."
"What does your doctor say about all of this?"
"My doctor is dead."
George Burns (1896-1996)
Why is Pfizer trying to decrease the amount of time it takes for Viagra to work? Because men don't like one of the side effects: Foreplay.
Why do our kids have to take the Iowa Test for Basic Skills? Why can't we have a Georgia Test of Basic Skills with questions like, "Bubba's got three cars and he done traded for two more. How many cement blocks is Bubba gonna need?"
- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?