30 June 2009
blahhh.
Ni nak cite ni, babe if you're reading this;
AKU TAKUT DENGAN BAPAK KAU.
Hahaa. yes indeed, takut. I dont know why, i just feel scared ah. I have random disturbing thoughts about , well so many things. Its stupid. Ridiculous. Its gettin on my nerves anyway, how do i deal with it. God, have mercy on meeeeehhhh. Give me the strength and will and power to just let it go and keep goin no matter what. I hate this feeling right now. Oh tuhanku, berilah aku kesabaran dan kekuatan dan tabahkan hatiku ini so i can have a better life later on physically, emotionally and mentally.
I miss my ah pok. Rindu gylaaaaaaaa. One day, ok exaggerating lah, maybe half a day, tak ngomong already feels so long like maybe a year or so chewaaaah. lelengau ka nuan x)
I wanna go to bed now. Im stoned and stuffed and mmm, angry. I feel like taking a knife and stab it at my very own heart. Best. Less drama, no feelings. Urgh. BENCI BENCI !!!!! Okay i should be sleeping now. Goodnight world, hello dreamland.
xoxo.
-restless+sleepy+stuffed+angry-
26 June 2009
An old time favourite song of mine. Michael jackson's Speechless. Rest in Peace Wacko jacko.
But I have not the words here to explain
Gone is the grace for expressions of passion
But there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain
To tell you how I feel But I am speechless, speechless
That's how you make me feel
Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is for real
When I'm with you I am lost for words,
I don't know what to say
My head's spinning like a carousel, so silently I pray
Helpless and hopeless, that's how I feel inside
Nothing's real, but all is possible if God is on my side
When I'm with you I am in the light where I cannot be found It's as though
I am standing in the place called Hallowed Ground
Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel
Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is for real
I'll go anywhere and do anything just to touch your face
There's no mountain high
I cannot climb I'm humbled in your grace Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel Though I'm with you I am lost for words and nothing is for real
Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel
Though I'm with you I am far away, and nothing is for real
Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel
Though I'm with you I am lost for words and nothing is for real
Speechless Your love is magical, that's how I feel
But in your presence
I am lost for words Words like, "I love you."
25 June 2009
once upon a time.
one fine day in klcc i was in a stalking mode.deathcab for cutie - i will follow you into the dark , jadore !
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
23 June 2009
Oh, what a difference a chromosome can make! We all know that people, regardless of gender, are likely to bear some (or all!) of the most common traits associated with their sun sign. However, in the realm of astrological love and compatibility, we tend to believe that certain sign combinations hold more promise than others.
For the most part, this is true. But, did you know that the astrological traits are affected by gender? Astrologically speaking, from attraction and interaction to reaction, men and women are as different as their anatomy.
Now let's take a look at the differences between men and women by sign - when it comes to attracting and interacting in love. Check out each zodiac sign's best and worst sides in love!
Aries
The Aries Female is an energetic, flirtatious force of nature who wants to be swept off her feet and cherished, but will step on your toes the minute she feels she is being smothered. She is most attracted to good looking, successful lovers who are capable of boosting her not-insignificant self-esteem. If you can't keep up (or lose!) her interest, she will quickly leave you behind in a cloud of dust, having traded you in for a pricier, showier model. If you have won the heart of an Aries woman, be prepared that she can be jealous, competitive, and downright cruel! On the flip side, she is capable of complete loyalty and will demand that you give her the same.
The Aries Male is a dynamic go-getter who wants to be overwhelmed by passion and emotion, and cannot stand for things to become complacent or routine. He likes his partners to be powerful and motivated, beautiful, and the sexual equivalent of a tornado. His hair-triggered anger and self-righteous attitude can take some getting used to, but he does cool down as quickly as he heats up. Boredom is the quickest way to make him stray, but that is only if you've proven exciting enough to get a commitment out of him in the first place.
Taurus
The Taurus Female is as strong of heart as she is of mind. She tends to hide her own vulnerabilities, usually by immersing herself more deeply into nurturing those she loves. She is drawn to partners who are her equal (or better!) on the material plane - ones that offer up some type of guarantee for the future, like a wedding ring. She most likely will appear prim-and-proper out in public, but can be quite the wild child behind closed doors. She is as stubborn as she is loving, and finds it easy to get stuck in her ways. The concept of give-and-take sometimes passes her by, and she can be possessive to the point of oppression.
The Taurus Male is a mountain of integrity and strength, loyal and loving. He has a habit of seeing things as either black or white, so while he may be discussing, you may be arguing in an attempt to get him to change his views. He expects the same level of loyalty that he gives, and will toss a flirty lover to the curb for flirting with anyone other than him - his piles of erotica don't count as an indiscretion from his viewpoint. Anything he may be lacking in an adventuresome spirit sexually, is made up for by his sexual appetite.
Gemini
The Gemini Woman is witty, charming, intelligent, and almost always at least ten minutes late. She is more attracted to a high IQ than any physical trait. She enjoys candlelight, but romance can bloom in broad daylight if the conversation is scintillating enough. This is not a woman adept at expressing her innermost feelings, and is likely to crack a joke until the serious moment passes. She wants security and stability in love, and a lover who is actually going to understand her, or at least treat her warmly when they don't.
The Gemini Male is an introverted extravert. Charisma, humor, and intellect may be the image he projects, but no matter how close you get - you can never be quite certain what is on his mind. He wants a partner who shows just enough emotion to validate that he is awesome, but not too much emotion that it will become complicated. He is seriously committed to remaining uncommitted, unless he stumbles across a super-achiever who can keep up with the conversation, reach their own goals without his assistance, and be packed and ready to go on an adventure at the drop of a dime. That, in his mind, is an amore worth considering.
Cancer
The Cancer Female is an alluring beauty, whose gentleness and caring nature tends to be welcomed in any crowd. She believes that love is the secret to life, and the more dreamy and romantic, the better. Sentimentality is a way of life. She is demure and erotic, and wants a lover who will commit, commit, commit! Her moods swings can be quite the challenge, and she can throw an Oscar-worthy tantrum when she doesn't get her way. When this feminine seductress snares her partner, her attention and affection makes them want to stay.
The Cancer Male is a romantic's dream, who plays the part of courtier well. He is honest and devoted, and when his heart melts, his every breath is drawn in to be with the one that he loves. He is very protective and can be equally as possessive, often becoming jealous of time spent with friends, relatives, or even the family dog. He wants a partner who swoons at the sight of him, is part mind-reader, (his lover is supposed to intuitively know why he is sulking) and who will find joy simply in being the center of his world.
Leo
The Leo Woman tends to be successful, self-assured, and at times more than a little flamboyant - but no more so than a queen has a right to be. She is attracted to attractive, adventurous lovers who will share the stage with her - as long as they don't try and steal the spotlight! Her sexual prowess can keep you smiling with her adventuresome spirit, but please don't ask her to get kinky. She will not live with tyranny - even though she is as likely as any man to flawlessly play the role of the tyrant. Leo women know that they deserve the best of everything, and aren't afraid to sample many kinds of varieties when on the prowl for true love.
The Leo Male is strong and affectionate, with a magnetic personality filled with fun and good cheer. He tends to be very generous, and successful enough to recover from his sprees without skipping a beat. He is attracted to beauty in all forms of lovers, specifically the ones who are adept at adoring him. In bed, the King of Beasts will live up to the title, but before you're done purring, he's probably raiding the fridge or making a sandwich. This man will give away his heart fully and with great ease, but from time to time he is likely to forget with whom he left it!
Virgo
The Virgo Female really is filled with purity and virtue, but also knows how to cut loose and have a good time - when she's not over-analyzing the smallest aspects of life. This lady is always in control - at least of herself. In her world, there is a time, place, and order to everything - and her love and trust must be earned or won. She is most attracted to neat and tidy lovers whose philosophical intellect can challenge her own. She is cautious with her emotions, but when she chooses to release her passion, she removes the virginal misconception with the subtlety of a raging forest fire. This is a supersensitive woman with many facets of character, who constantly strives for perfection in herself, life and love.
The Virgo Male is the industrious sort who finds work to be oddly exciting. He's the one who is just as likely to softly grin caressing the finish of his new file cabinet the way others would the curve of a lover's hip. Always searching for ways to improve things, he tends to be attracted to people who need his help or guidance in some way, but they must also be intelligent and competent in their own right. He tends to look at love with the same zest and vigor as any other work to be done. In other words, love is meant to be shaped into perfect harmony (well, almost perfect!). He is selfish and selfless, and can freeze an active volcano or melt the polar ice caps, depending on the day. But with a partner who loves him compassionately, his devotion grows every day.
Libra
The Libra Female is warm and womanly... artistic and elegant. She can come home from work and whip out an intimate dinner for 20 that rivals any gala. She can find something attractive in every person, place, or thing - and still believes that Prince Charming will come riding into her life on a snow-white steed. Until they show up, any lover who shows interest and has even a liberal understanding of romance is definitely worth consideration, especially if they are packaged into a hot body. A good woman, she tries to anticipate her lover's needs, sometimes forgetting that air and personal space are amongst them. The greatest challenge for the Libra Female is realizing that a clinging vine tends to strangle, but when she's content with herself alone in life, she is the most desirable flower.
The Libra Male is the life of the party, the kind of guy you just want to be around. Strong of mind, body, character and success, he tends to have a playboy past and is likely to throw over the latest bubble-headed beauty for a quiet, loyal, sweetheart who may turn a few less heads (but can intellectually hold their ground). For all that he is, and all that he has achieved, he tends to have abandonment issues that can run fairly deep. His deepest desire is to complete himself with the one he loves, and if it takes a hundred tries before they get it right - he'll just keep on trying!
Scorpio
The Scorpio Female is an unwinding mystery, sometimes even to herself. She is strong yet soft, kind, compassionate, intuitive, alluring and shy. She can rise to any challenge, claim victory without rubbing it in, and love so deeply that it scares herself. Sexually, there are no boundaries, no limits to the games she'll play (sex is power!) but she's very selective with the few that can experience her feminine wiles. She is attracted to a partner who is intelligent as well as wise, attractive and enigmatic. While the Scorpio female can be quite possessive, she prefers that her freedoms be unrestrained. The person who falls for Ms. Scorpio's embrace will never be the same. Once you know the rules, you understand it is her game.
The Scorpio Male tends to be physically alluring and intellectually frustrating. He always knows the answer before he asks the question, he just wants to see how you'll respond. His sexuality can excite the coldest, stillest waters of any pond, and yet sex is not the mission with the ones with whom he shares his charm. He is attracted to partners who are independent but loyal, intelligent, but not too inquisitive. Even the most committed Scorpio man has a way of making a lover wonder. He is pride and mystery, and if he doesn't choose to drive you mad with silence and intrigue, he is likely to sweep you just far enough off your feet that you'll be holding on for life - even after he's long gone.
Sagittarius
The Sagittarius Female can light up a room, simply by stepping in to it. Charming, witty, outgoing, and hilariously fun, this woman may not be sure in what direction her life is going, but she will make the most of scenery along the way! She is independent and impulsive, and her idea of romance is a week-long adventure - but you can bring champagne and roses if you want to. She is attracted to active, intelligent, and optimistic lovers who thrive as much as she does venturing into the unknown. She can make an insult sound like a compliment, and to her, "apology" is some foreign and undiscovered word. You may not know where the Sagittarius female is going, but fun and chaos will mark where she's been.
The Sagittarius Male is charming enough to teach a snake to samba, and equally as intriguing to be around. He is upbeat and ingenious, and some may say even a bit unorthodox, but definitely someone you like to be around. Lovers tend to overwhelm him, (they don't understand that a commitment has a lifespan of about two weeks) but he'll happily thrill you with humor and romance as long as it's still a chase. The person he catches tends to quickly be re-released into the dating wild. The Sagittarius man is like an over-grown boy, who will claim to be invincible, right up until he's put in his grave.
Capricorn
The Capricorn Female is an energetic workaholic who is always on the move. This accomplished femme fatale is one of the most kind-hearted, loyal, and caring pessimists that you could ever meet. Her sense of self-worth is what makes her strive tirelessly for success, but it also is what allows her to fall for some pretty superficial romantic situations. While she wants a self-sufficient, warm and caring partner - she often falls prey to false hopes and promises formed by attractive lips. She is a sensitive creature whose feelings can easily be hurt, but has a problem recognizing that her own finesse is often delivered with the gentleness of a 10 pound sledgehammer at full swing. Logic, emotion, and drama rule and fuel her world, but being on her "good side" is a very good place to be, because while she will forgive - she is less likely to let you forget.
The Capricorn Male exudes strength and endurance, professionally as well as in the bedroom. He tends to be quite accomplished, and looks for attractive partners who can hold a conversation but pale in comparison with his own intelligence. With an agreeable lover, he can spend less energy controlling and manipulating, which frees his time to shower them with the finer things in life, because they have met his expectations and deserve to be pampered and rewarded.
Aquarius
The Aquarius Female is a dreamy, analytical, friendly person, who either enchants or scares those she meets. At work or play, there is a calm intensity about her that can endear or overwhelm, but never fails to make an impression. She is most attracted to lovers of a like-mind, those who value honesty, humanity, the world, and all the life forms in it. One of the best listeners out there, Ms. Aquarius often fails to ask for what she wants or needs, because she'll just assume she won't get it. Marriage is security, and she has idealistic views of both.
The Aquarius Male has the mind of an inventor and the intellect and vocabulary of the most esteemed professor. All things new and developmental exist to be pondered and explored, his thirst and ability to absorb knowledge and theory is profound. He tends to appear serene and collected, at times eccentric or standoffish, but this is merely the wrapper for a humane and kind soul. He is most attracted to freedom loving partners who have kind hearts and empathetic souls. While life is but a playground for the Aquarius male, his loyalty and devotion to his chosen one hinges on the respect of his ideals and space - without fail.
Pisces
The Pisces Female is usually a soft-spoken, tender-hearted woman "in love with love" and romance. She has the soul and vision of an artist whose temperament is more prone to tears than tantrums. She has a vital and sensual sense of humor, and her charisma is quite beguiling. Because she believes in romantic love, she often gravitates toward the playboy, often not noticing the stability offered by a less-fairytale type of lover. She believes there is good in all, but often fails to recognize her own inner strength. The female Pisces who is begging to be rescued is the one most likely to be scraping egg off her face.
The Pisces Male has a healthy respect for life, particularly when seen through his humorous eyes. He is the modern-day mystic, sans the tranquility training. He is charming and romantic, beautifully surreal. He can be obsessive and moody one minute - at times pouring out his soul - and the next, be extremely still and private. He loves deeply, and emotionally, and can find himself easily attached - but always searching for a new level of intensity. He is most attracted to beautiful people who are strong enough to keep him in line, and smart enough to do so privately with respect and compassion. The Pisces male is notorious for wanting what he can't have and sometimes living in the melancholy memory (or bottle!) of the past he's left behind.
4th may 1988
EIGHT personalities tend to be independent, competitive, practical and forceful when it’s necessary. Managing business, yourself and your environment will all come fairly easy. With an EIGHT Life-Path you are endowed with tremendous potential for conceiving far reaching ideas and further, with the tenacity to follow through on them. Key qualities/words for an EIGHT Life-Path are practical endeavors, status orientated, power seeking and high material goals.
It is common for EIGHTS to find they have little or no time for dreams and visions. They are more likely to be concerned with the down to earth affairs that are going on. This can add strain to relationships if others aren’t aware or accepting of your nature. An EIGHT can also become so preoccupied with the making of money that the family, the home and their own peace of mind becomes neglected. Taking appropriate time to allow for all things that are important can be a challenge but is also vital to the happiness of an EIGHT.
The life purpose for an EIGHT is to acquire money and to learn the power that comes with proper manipulation. It was once thought that the number EIGHT was one of ‘bad luck’. This is hardly the case. Luck has nothing to do with it for an EIGHT. Ingenuity, balance and hard work bring rewards.
It’s important for all EIGHTS to refrain from obsessive pursuits or from neglect of life’s other pleasures. It can be a challenge to find the right balance between ambition and relationships. However, careful planning and determination can keep life in harmony.
There is no way I can convey
this emptiness inside
That seems to tear my soul to shreds
as time goes swiftly by
If I could merely hold you near
for just a little while
If I could simply talk with you
or only see you smile
To have you look into my eyes
and wait to hear you say
Something that would help me
to take this pain away
If I have to wait forever
I guess that's what I'll do
For me, it will be worth it
to finally be with you
whats happenin...
psst psst,
[ I . do . miss . you. ♥ . :) . xoxoxo ]
Till then, i wanna boom boom pow with my pillows dulu.
Penat.
Someone pun tak online !!
Hmmft!
Lotsa xoxo's.
- Delllllllaaaaaaaaaaanyyy Maaaaaaaaaaaay -
21 June 2009
Heart of the matter.
How are friendships created;
What bonds their souls to each?
Is it sharing their deepest secrets
Or the love spoken in their speech?
How are friendships kept
Through the strain that they may face?
Is it saying, I love you sometimes,
Or occasionally touching base?
How are friendships lost
When there seemed no end in sight?
By ignoring their pain and anguish,
And not sharing in their delight.
So, I pledge to you, my friend,
I'll never walk away;
I'll share the good and bad,
And beside you... I'll always stay.
And when life isnt worth it,
When the tears roll down your cheek
Just close your eyes and listen
And from a distance... u'll hear me speak.
Though my words at times seem pointless,
When no answers I seem to impart
Dont listen the way you have in the past
But listen with your heart.
For the important things in life
Are invisible to your eyes;
u'll hear them in your heart
For your heart will tell no lies.
So, though I may be far away,
Too far for you to reach,
Remember im there forever
For ive told you in my speech.
Yet, distance never mattered
For distance will only depend
On the depth of the love I have...
And I love you dearly, my friend.
So when clouds are at their darkest
And no lining do you see
You have a friend, so close,
And that friend - my friend - is me.
14 June 2009
If you leave - Mary j blige ft Musiq Soulchild
But I think I'm just fed up, baby
You think I can be so arrogant, arrogant
But I'm just tryna keep my head up, baby
You think I procrastinate baby
But I think I'm taking my time
You think you need to leave
But I think I disagree but
If you believe you'll do best without me
I'll let it go girl, it's over
But before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go girl, it's over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out yeah
I think you're so full of it, full of it
You just don't know when to let up baby
I think you're so arrogant, arrogant
But you think you're so much better baby
That I think it aint dealt before me to judge you by your flaws and that's why
No I could criticize, but I put that aside
To focus on you and I
But if you believe you'll do best without me
Then I'll let it go boy, it's over
But before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go boy, it's over
But I have no doubt
We can work it out yeah
Now if you wanna go, baby
Then I'll let you go
And even though I'm tryna hold on
I can't if you don't
No, now if you leave me, you're gonna miss me
and I'm not saying that I'll be here waiting
Since we here right now (instead of just walking out)
Let's work to reach the point that I know we can be...
But if you believe, you'll do best without me
Then I'll let it go
It's over (it's over)
But before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave
I'll let it go girl, it's over
I have no doubt that we can work it out
If you believe, you'll do best without me
I'll let it go girl, it's over
Before we say goodbye
Let's give it a try
If you leave, then baby I'll leave...
12 June 2009
dilemma
Home aint where my heart is.
Home is where the heart is;
isn't that what people say?
But there are times it's not the truth
and it doesn't work that way
Sometimes there is that someone
who comes into your heart
When you don't even notice
and that is when it starts
That seed is planted deep within
and then it starts to grow
And then before much time has passed
you're aware, and then you know
This love becomes your passion
and fight it as you will
Your dreams, your thoughts, your waking hours
keep trying to fulfill..
The burning love that's deep inside
that wants to scream and shout
For the one who knows you not
with cries, "please let me out"
I cannot say how this will end
I only know for sure
That there is someone in my heart
that i'll adore.
So, home's not where my heart is
and, yes, it's sad to say....
I love someone who knows me not
oh, to hope... maybe... someday...
11 June 2009
di sepang ada coast emas.
myra, nanti we go tenangkan fikiran here kay :) xxoxo! counting the days till u get ur arse back here in kayy Ello~
Here's some sepang goldcoast punya pictures!
goku ! *peeewiiit!! ( awan terbang datang ) *
persisiran pantai bersama OKU.
The maid and the kid on a sunset.
Uncle ni main guitar, lek je. nampak cam the Beatles nye member ha? huhu.
Sunset beach, sepang gold coast restaurant.
Sengalness !
beach is the new ecstacy.
The holiday
So.... Sarawak was AWESOME. I definitely didn't go out much , except to do a few things lah kan.
Selain itu, im totally at home as in my kampung halaman. Then here is the story, went back for gawai + take care of sumbuk which means grandma in my language cool na? ahaha anyway, it was great, cousins and long lost family members i dont know of suddenly " hello there ! ". Feel like to duduk je kat sarawak tuh, peaceful walaupun panas cam gampang the weather there, and yeah the river and ohh the food there. I think i need to shed this festive weight ! Hahaha. shits. 2 days time uitm nye results na keluar! how? i dont know. I dont wanna know! ahahah. here's my kampung !! hehehe.
the ride back home from the airport, ni on the way sila turn right. hahahah.
silly darling cousins.
wilmer !! the worrior. hahahha.
this dance is called... i dont know what its called HAHAHAHAH.
My grandma
ini desmond junior hahaha.
Silly lily's :) ( kesian kena paksa dress up in traditional clothes )10 June 2009
May babies, this is what we are.
another..
Forget about it lah right. Sometimes love knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down. Here's something for you, wherever you are :)
The cool breeze blows my soft hair
as it whispers "change".
As it warns me nothing will ever be the same
I want to jump from this rock I am standing on
I want to fly
but if i fall no one will be there to kiss me goodbye.
The tall grass tickles my feet as it spells out tomorrow,
I want to live in yesterday,
hold onto the memories that linger there.
I must move on.
I must forget.
The chain around my neck twists backwards
begging me to wish,
But wishes don't change tomorrow
And cannot keep you here.
So anyway, here i go again clueless of whats in and out my somewhat weird life. Inilah cerita dellany may for today.
Ps* cam kimak, dear dagu i am so fucking p.o with you cuz i know my fault i acciddent langgar you but pls la dont have to be such a mulut longkang kan. Fuckin rude retard. Pfft.
I enjoyed my hols in s'wak and yeah :) banyakkkkkk sangat memories.
xoxo = Lotsa hugs and kisses.
:)