Today, the silence of my phone made me realized something .
waiting for a text . waiting for a call .
nothing . You went MIA perhaps .
So i called , I texted .
Last was " Baby i'm sorry i raised my voice ."
I replied Its ok, Its raise btw because you spelled it RISE . That made me smile for a second .
Maybe that annoyed you . Ah , so what ? Sikit je tu . Nak emo ? Okay =)
This aint funny and its not a game i'd like to participate in .
If this is your way of saying goodbye .
I dare you to do it .
Just tell it to my face, this 2nd september .
I'm waiting .
Pfft .
Ps* I love you .
11 August 2010
Confused
Love ,
you kept me waiting for something i wasnt sure .
I had to let it go.
For , i have found something that seemed more meaningful .
I couldnt help myself .
I felt this big guilt and i felt so angry and rejected .
Wondering where did we go wrong,
wondering why did i stop loving you.
I guess we were just not meant to be.
I am happy with the one i love now.
I hope you are too.
Someday my love,
you will find happiness.
When that day comes,
till we meet again.
Love ,
Me.
you kept me waiting for something i wasnt sure .
I had to let it go.
For , i have found something that seemed more meaningful .
I couldnt help myself .
I felt this big guilt and i felt so angry and rejected .
Wondering where did we go wrong,
wondering why did i stop loving you.
I guess we were just not meant to be.
I am happy with the one i love now.
I hope you are too.
Someday my love,
you will find happiness.
When that day comes,
till we meet again.
Love ,
Me.
buzz . sorry . i know you'll hate me . i had to do this .
Well well hello nonok and kunizz. Its been a while and ages la senang cerita i tak update blog. Where to start ah ? Oh yeah. Cam banyak je . as u can see, i only rant out my feelings when im totally Pissed OFF badly la kan . Kenapa ada orang berperangai ala-ala miss universe? Bukan miss universe la , like the whole fucking world has to sujud under ur fucking feet ke? please la. Meluat aku. for all i care u can ask people to kiss ur ass and follow you around like a slave, but im not interested. My intellectual mind has better ways of disposing its unwanted time. Hence, you just need to fuck off from my life la kan , its my pleasure to do the same to u.
UPDATE!!
Recently my bestie got engaged ! AWESOME !
A huge congratulations to azieza mansur uhnavy, semoga berkekalan hingga ke anak cucu!! Next siapa ??? :P
Weekends i berlepas and then yeah, missing the boyfriend so badly. Why'd you have to go sayang. Uffft. Look first of all kan, you said i betrayed you? I didnt even say were "an item/together". I did say i love you but i realized that you and i just werent meant to be because you barely keep in touch with me, let alone keep my excitement coming on eg. waiting for ur text or call. You called, but im always the one who does the talk. What?! Urgh, I know u made an effort of coming down to kl to see me and i wasnt able or wasnt around to actually see u. Im really sorrry. It was just bad timing and i regret that. U made ur effort, but please dont tell me i betrayed you. U dont fucking care about me. I get it. No worries. You were hiding too much from me, your pain you endured alone. The thing is you've always wanted to be ALONE. And life was always you you and you. I grew fond of you, and there came another guy who actually acts like he wants me more than you, made effort more than you. His actions shows how much he loves me. I feel guilty as hell at this point. Why cant you read between the lines that i dont love u more than a friend? Im not yours to call baby anymore. Im taken by someone else and i dont think i can go on with this any longer. Im sorry but were not meant to be and you definitely deserve better than someone like me. I wanted a stable lovelife, i went for it without a doubt. You left me in doubt. You left me puzzled and always wondering what sickness are you actually having. I cant. I'll always love you as a bestest friend of mine. You had your chance when you met me the other day, but i guess you didnt step up the game a little. Its ok :) i wish you well. Im really sorry if by any chance ive hurt you. God bless. I was honest about everything before , but my feelings faded for you. But anyway, you deserve better. Im not worth your love and time.
I had an awesome weekend ! The movie salt was superb, lots of hardcore punches and killings. EEEEEKS. I watched despicable me, SUMPAH COMEL GILA. hahaha. Then i watched mantra with iqa, seriously takle bla, some ickyy green sheeytt crawling and feeding on ladies who kena some case of bad skin rash. lawak lawak. pffft. Dear exboyfriend , i bumped into you the other day. I hope you didnt see me because i wanted to gelak when i saw you. :) Macam-macam la you. I think that was you, muka macam bapa orang kan :) hohohohoh. So anyway, this is me latest update on my photo;
Yes ladies and genties, my new look ! July look. Hohoho. I sorta changed my hair length and style. so voila. ME ! :D i love it. i got bangs now, but leceh la lagi2 bila panas kan, pergh, dia macam setepek. pffft. anyways! Seterusnya , i am not renting at shah alam, but instead im ulang-aliking from home to uni. Crazy and intense sitch ok bila i dont go for class or when i'm late for class. Baru rush hour2 3 4 5 maybe 6 ? Pfft . Saya dengan dukacitanya mempersembahkan hidup saya ini yang tiada tempat untuk mengadu kepada blog, so please la those yang rasa kau akan terasa pasal blog aku , please jangan perasan. Laa kalau kau terasa pon elok jugak, padan muka kau. Gi mati please? Thanks.
So, and for the part where people blames me for changing you for making you 'rosak', girl you shoulda think twice about it before you got influenced. Im pretty sure there wasnt any substance or negative influence except my words. Did that made you the person you are today? Pffft. Pity. Your life, none of my business. Just dont blame others for your own fault ok, especially laaa when its NOT MY FAULT SO STOP POINTING FINGERS AT ME. Another friend i had recently had asked a favor from me, i dont mind about it, BUT because of you me and my boyfriend fought, because of you i spent less time with him. Urgh. WHY WHY WHY.
AKU NI, SUKA HATI LA KAN NAK MC KE APA KAU ADA MASALAH KE DENGAN MC AKU? TAK KAN ? GO TO HELL AND FUCK YOURSELF . THANK YOU . JANGAN NAK BUAT AKU TAKUT LA , AKU TAK TAKUT . KAU NAK MAIN PEDANG ???? BAK DATANG . Urgh , just go away la you , please . SHOO .
Okay, i was mad and angry. I should just shut up. Enough. Nanti terlampau mengikut perasaan. And this blog is a compilation of what had happened , and whats happening. So its like a 2 and 6 days compilation of writing. haha. Cheers reader. xx
UPDATE!!
Recently my bestie got engaged ! AWESOME !
A huge congratulations to azieza mansur uhnavy, semoga berkekalan hingga ke anak cucu!! Next siapa ??? :P
Weekends i berlepas and then yeah, missing the boyfriend so badly. Why'd you have to go sayang. Uffft. Look first of all kan, you said i betrayed you? I didnt even say were "an item/together". I did say i love you but i realized that you and i just werent meant to be because you barely keep in touch with me, let alone keep my excitement coming on eg. waiting for ur text or call. You called, but im always the one who does the talk. What?! Urgh, I know u made an effort of coming down to kl to see me and i wasnt able or wasnt around to actually see u. Im really sorrry. It was just bad timing and i regret that. U made ur effort, but please dont tell me i betrayed you. U dont fucking care about me. I get it. No worries. You were hiding too much from me, your pain you endured alone. The thing is you've always wanted to be ALONE. And life was always you you and you. I grew fond of you, and there came another guy who actually acts like he wants me more than you, made effort more than you. His actions shows how much he loves me. I feel guilty as hell at this point. Why cant you read between the lines that i dont love u more than a friend? Im not yours to call baby anymore. Im taken by someone else and i dont think i can go on with this any longer. Im sorry but were not meant to be and you definitely deserve better than someone like me. I wanted a stable lovelife, i went for it without a doubt. You left me in doubt. You left me puzzled and always wondering what sickness are you actually having. I cant. I'll always love you as a bestest friend of mine. You had your chance when you met me the other day, but i guess you didnt step up the game a little. Its ok :) i wish you well. Im really sorry if by any chance ive hurt you. God bless. I was honest about everything before , but my feelings faded for you. But anyway, you deserve better. Im not worth your love and time.
I had an awesome weekend ! The movie salt was superb, lots of hardcore punches and killings. EEEEEKS. I watched despicable me, SUMPAH COMEL GILA. hahaha. Then i watched mantra with iqa, seriously takle bla, some ickyy green sheeytt crawling and feeding on ladies who kena some case of bad skin rash. lawak lawak. pffft. Dear exboyfriend , i bumped into you the other day. I hope you didnt see me because i wanted to gelak when i saw you. :) Macam-macam la you. I think that was you, muka macam bapa orang kan :) hohohohoh. So anyway, this is me latest update on my photo;
So, and for the part where people blames me for changing you for making you 'rosak', girl you shoulda think twice about it before you got influenced. Im pretty sure there wasnt any substance or negative influence except my words. Did that made you the person you are today? Pffft. Pity. Your life, none of my business. Just dont blame others for your own fault ok, especially laaa when its NOT MY FAULT SO STOP POINTING FINGERS AT ME. Another friend i had recently had asked a favor from me, i dont mind about it, BUT because of you me and my boyfriend fought, because of you i spent less time with him. Urgh. WHY WHY WHY.
AKU NI, SUKA HATI LA KAN NAK MC KE APA KAU ADA MASALAH KE DENGAN MC AKU? TAK KAN ? GO TO HELL AND FUCK YOURSELF . THANK YOU . JANGAN NAK BUAT AKU TAKUT LA , AKU TAK TAKUT . KAU NAK MAIN PEDANG ???? BAK DATANG . Urgh , just go away la you , please . SHOO .
Okay, i was mad and angry. I should just shut up. Enough. Nanti terlampau mengikut perasaan. And this blog is a compilation of what had happened , and whats happening. So its like a 2 and 6 days compilation of writing. haha. Cheers reader. xx
13 June 2010
at 0942 hours.
09:42 AM : Im starring blankly at the laptop. Been a while since ive updated my blog. So here it is! I am fucked lads and gents. Physically? Ewahewah ofcourse la tak , derrrr! Gua bukan chia la der, gua ada standard la der !~ Mentally abused by my family members. Emotionally bruised by my past and well, present too la kan. I have to say things have changed and i feel like im losing my crowd ofso called "friends for life" nya circle. I mean its like about time la kan i break into a new group of friends, do something new and DO NOT PUT HIGH HOPES ON ANYONE (not only relating to the love part, but by all means, enough la tu nak beriye sangat dah). Currently lapar although i had breakfast dengan ejoy this morning around 4ish. NUTS ah. I am paranoid now, i dont know if its my nose ke apa, but i smell something foul, its like a pile of bullshit kot that ive been getting from most of the people around me. I feel upset that you werent the same as before, what changed you? You know i'll always be there for you and you'll always be there for me dulu kan, but now? I think its more like, Hey dell, bye dell, cant dell, no dell. Where's my fav phrase of yessszaaaa!?. Sigh. I miss the old you better. & last but not least, dont like how love is making people feel ignorant about other things that actually matters more than just love or for some other people, lust.
So i actually went out on a cuppa dates la. All sort of guys ive met in my life, none senonoh. Ada je yang tak betul, but they always think with ONE HEAD, what head? Dickhead. Kepale konek mereka. Yes, otak fikir nak romen je keje. KEPALA HANJS lu. I do not see that as a part of being macho charming ke sexy ke apa okay. If only fucking around made the poor richer and the rich, well modest and enough la kan, dunia ni sure aman. Regardless of the aids epidemic, condom ada ma? Pakai lor. Murah saje. Jangan la nak jadi mask of zorro sangat, poket koya, perut pon koyak, pepek ? Lagi la koyak.
I am, again havin financial problema's. Why? Thanks to "Ayahnda", since he convertad to Islam ( murtad christian la kira ) betina tu dah tampal totoi ( kote in bahasa Melayu ) at his kepala and jampi jampi bulu puki kot la kan. I dont know and i dont care. All i care about is, when the fuck is he giving me my fucking allowance. Get a grip la old man, i know you got issues, but because of you, MY LIFE HAS TOO MUCH KACHING ISSUES. Urgh. Sabar je la. Next up, mother. See guys i had a lil mishap when i was in kl, i bawak kereta with 4 of us in it. Me fanna iqa and chels. Sending em back, then BOOM LANGGAR lobang di bawah HIGHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MRR2, jalan menghala ke keramat ye, ada simpang tuening left masuk kilang GlaxoSmithKline tuh, Hang tengok la camana bila hari hujan, tak nampak apa pon lobang kejadah tuh. Friggin disturbing moment. SO anyway, i langgar. wheels went left and right on both side. Lower arm patah, i hope berbekalkan salary ku yang seciput ini, its enough to fix the damages WITHOUT MOM'S HELPFUL HELP. Kesian ookaaaay. What a mom. She's great, but last night? FUCKIN PISSED ME OFF SO BAD I WANTED TO KILL THE NEXT PERSON WHO TICKED ME OFF.
Time tu la, baru boleh nampak who's our true friend and who aint. 4 of us had to collect 80 bucks yang short of 15 lepas korek2 coins and all. But chels punya cousin came to the resque with her friend. There's the towing dude who came and helped to check reasonable price la, 150, bapak la, nak bayar with what ???? PUBES? Yikes. Nehi, i was still headstrong to find other sources. Made a few calls, last i called affan, he gave perodua's towing services. THANK god 80. Yehaaaa! Love u so much la der! FYI, i could have saved the 80 bucks tu and sent it to my mechanic in kepong if only my mom had not been such a total ____(fill this out la, too mean to say it out loud innit?). Now you know why i was furious? Hurgh. Tell me about it. Then kereta di tow ke balai melawati, slept at chels house ( tidur la sangat ). Arrived home after drama about 10 pm the day after. NO SLEEP! I feel so Au'Natural lepas mandi and on my bed, but then again, cuz im still like bingung akan kejadian, sleeping is just a part time task now. Hagged ? No i wasnt drunk driving. STUPID JKR, fix the fucking road in keramat tuh. CHEAP-UP betul ok.
Interesting innit my life? Kalah kimora in the fabulous lane. HAHAHHAH. FAB total betul. Mata ku pedih la der, cene? I wanna sleep kejap at the moment sambil menunggu i punya perut stop menyanyi lullaby thats not so soothing to the ears. And yes, i hate my ex so much dulu, but i forgave you already longggg time ago la kan and yeah.. i wished you happy birthday secara jujur sayang, so sorry we arent friends anymore. I wish you all the best in life and god bless you always dear. mwah, salam maafan and peace yow. One more thing, guys yang perasan single, dah dah la tu, get a life. Jangan nak scandal sangat la, its unhealthy to us girls. I mean, hello. Sakit la hati orang yang menunggu detik beriang bersama. If you already have a steady partner, dont go looking for trouble. im single and i admit i am lonely, but its my choice. i may be bitter ke apa ke, but it was always my choice to be single for now and enjoy life and to concentrate on my studies la. Enough fooling around for me. Seriously, this time june onwards, life's about to change and if it doesnt, hahaha. I'll die peacefully and quietly. Takkan nak curse diri sendiri mati ganas? Heheh. Okay lahhh ladies and babes. I wanna sleep and okay then i guess. Goodnight dellany, Good morning malaysia. ;) laters.
So i actually went out on a cuppa dates la. All sort of guys ive met in my life, none senonoh. Ada je yang tak betul, but they always think with ONE HEAD, what head? Dickhead. Kepale konek mereka. Yes, otak fikir nak romen je keje. KEPALA HANJS lu. I do not see that as a part of being macho charming ke sexy ke apa okay. If only fucking around made the poor richer and the rich, well modest and enough la kan, dunia ni sure aman. Regardless of the aids epidemic, condom ada ma? Pakai lor. Murah saje. Jangan la nak jadi mask of zorro sangat, poket koya, perut pon koyak, pepek ? Lagi la koyak.
I am, again havin financial problema's. Why? Thanks to "Ayahnda", since he convertad to Islam ( murtad christian la kira ) betina tu dah tampal totoi ( kote in bahasa Melayu ) at his kepala and jampi jampi bulu puki kot la kan. I dont know and i dont care. All i care about is, when the fuck is he giving me my fucking allowance. Get a grip la old man, i know you got issues, but because of you, MY LIFE HAS TOO MUCH KACHING ISSUES. Urgh. Sabar je la. Next up, mother. See guys i had a lil mishap when i was in kl, i bawak kereta with 4 of us in it. Me fanna iqa and chels. Sending em back, then BOOM LANGGAR lobang di bawah HIGHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MRR2, jalan menghala ke keramat ye, ada simpang tuening left masuk kilang GlaxoSmithKline tuh, Hang tengok la camana bila hari hujan, tak nampak apa pon lobang kejadah tuh. Friggin disturbing moment. SO anyway, i langgar. wheels went left and right on both side. Lower arm patah, i hope berbekalkan salary ku yang seciput ini, its enough to fix the damages WITHOUT MOM'S HELPFUL HELP. Kesian ookaaaay. What a mom. She's great, but last night? FUCKIN PISSED ME OFF SO BAD I WANTED TO KILL THE NEXT PERSON WHO TICKED ME OFF.
Time tu la, baru boleh nampak who's our true friend and who aint. 4 of us had to collect 80 bucks yang short of 15 lepas korek2 coins and all. But chels punya cousin came to the resque with her friend. There's the towing dude who came and helped to check reasonable price la, 150, bapak la, nak bayar with what ???? PUBES? Yikes. Nehi, i was still headstrong to find other sources. Made a few calls, last i called affan, he gave perodua's towing services. THANK god 80. Yehaaaa! Love u so much la der! FYI, i could have saved the 80 bucks tu and sent it to my mechanic in kepong if only my mom had not been such a total ____(fill this out la, too mean to say it out loud innit?). Now you know why i was furious? Hurgh. Tell me about it. Then kereta di tow ke balai melawati, slept at chels house ( tidur la sangat ). Arrived home after drama about 10 pm the day after. NO SLEEP! I feel so Au'Natural lepas mandi and on my bed, but then again, cuz im still like bingung akan kejadian, sleeping is just a part time task now. Hagged ? No i wasnt drunk driving. STUPID JKR, fix the fucking road in keramat tuh. CHEAP-UP betul ok.
Interesting innit my life? Kalah kimora in the fabulous lane. HAHAHHAH. FAB total betul. Mata ku pedih la der, cene? I wanna sleep kejap at the moment sambil menunggu i punya perut stop menyanyi lullaby thats not so soothing to the ears. And yes, i hate my ex so much dulu, but i forgave you already longggg time ago la kan and yeah.. i wished you happy birthday secara jujur sayang, so sorry we arent friends anymore. I wish you all the best in life and god bless you always dear. mwah, salam maafan and peace yow. One more thing, guys yang perasan single, dah dah la tu, get a life. Jangan nak scandal sangat la, its unhealthy to us girls. I mean, hello. Sakit la hati orang yang menunggu detik beriang bersama. If you already have a steady partner, dont go looking for trouble. im single and i admit i am lonely, but its my choice. i may be bitter ke apa ke, but it was always my choice to be single for now and enjoy life and to concentrate on my studies la. Enough fooling around for me. Seriously, this time june onwards, life's about to change and if it doesnt, hahaha. I'll die peacefully and quietly. Takkan nak curse diri sendiri mati ganas? Heheh. Okay lahhh ladies and babes. I wanna sleep and okay then i guess. Goodnight dellany, Good morning malaysia. ;) laters.
15 May 2010
You can kiss my sorry ass .
Yes i am mad at the fact im tryig so hard to preserve "us". This time sayang, i give up. Que serra serra . Goodnight and Goodbye.