Say something i'm giving up on you.. January November.. Hello !

Hey guys...been a whileeee again.. i basically dont have the time and all to write all that's been happening but here it goes. I think my job is alright. My lovelife ? Still sorting the missing pieces and contemplating on the findings. Life overall i must say is like charsiew pau. So nice. HAHAHAH.

Now this year being single, what happened lets see... Tried to be in love be in like ( except for preserving what i had for years, then poof it became asssshes..had to put the extra S if ya know what i mean hehe ) i tried lah, but i think im just done trying. I am content being on my own. Being alone is lonely but hey, better than being with someone who you you dislike along the way then fight and fuss then poof, again hati terluka. I had so many what the fuck mo's, but i thank god it happened to show me what life was all really about.

You came out alone in this world, hence thats how you'll die to. ALONE. Everyone sebenarnya forever alone kan? Gaahah #rintihanlamegila. So now lets see, next year will literally be my second year working for the hs** and as much updates i want to give, as much as i love talking i wanted to post a video blog of myself but you see, it takes so much effort to do that so for now im going to stick with writing lah okay? Set. So whats been new really. Uhm lets see. Yikes Okay, being single like restraining myself from ever dating a few people and enjoying company of a few was definitely something i learned about men, know what they are and what they really want in a woman. Helps me see the qualities and stuff of what a man really needs in a woman. And you wonder what kinda traits is that ? Definitely not a mirror of him. I guess they need a manfriend in their partner kot. An allrounder. Honesty is the best policy ( not for some jerks i know off, nama saja lelaki tapi takda balls bah ).

Work, i have applied for multiple jobs some have politely declined me but for some unknown reason i strongly believe that some people have dengki issues. I dont care for now but chill lah mana tau i will eventually get a better job prospect in the near future. I love writing crap and it helps me release the bottled up feeling in me and i sometimes think to myself that how can some stupid small thing ruin your life for 20 over years in 2 minutes. Were only humans and things we do sometimes we dont think of the what ifs and why when how what. Too much of #YOLO, i'm a strong YOLO believer but sometimes you gotta admit life needs a balance of bad and good to ensure maximum yin and yang, chewah saw not the poyoness. :P Movin on to next line.

Life, has been slightly unfair, but what is life without dramas and karmas no ? Marilyn Monroe once quoted 
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."


So, was that something or what. In life i have lost my friends, loved ones, love of my life, phones, haha valuable items; its hard to let go it tears my heart up each time i try but the sky shines after each time it rains, so i believe there's much more to life than just this petty dramas. There are nights i go insane thinking of my life and how do i deal with it and how do i deal with this shit, but i gotta keep my shit together and just move forward like a bullet train no? 

Another classic Monroe
" This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

People always say ( including me ) "need to find our self". Life is more towards creating yourself in a way so unique people would know you for who you are and what you have become on your very last breath. Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Heheh more updates next time darlings, xoxo

Get busy living or get busy dying ! 

Throwback sat...

Hello hello..yes im abit sakai because just realized theres an android app for this so hence im ranting here and there about life in my beloved personal *tak personal sangat la* blog.

Damn shit happens so fast and poof its gonna be one year working with a bank and i love it. I get to meet and greet people all over the globe and its an awesome feeling tbh. Some can be a pain but once you resolve and get to know them? Its more than money can ever express that sweet glorious moment okayy.

So anyway this years highlight will be me officially single and not on the prowl langsung kan not interested. No hanky panky donkey monkey story. In december going to perth for christmas with mom ian and his gf then in february going to langkawi with my colls. Should i go or should i stay in terms of career? We shall see dellany, many years ahead patience and perseverence god will reward you and who knows i can climb up the ladder for a better job offer ey?

Okaaay enough said for now. I shall update more later as its sorta pass my bed time plus migraine is killing me ugh. Azam tahun baru with my girlfriend, KURUSKAN THIS FAT ASS. Haha klabai.

What the flyin xxxx

Omagad..what was i doing..thebfact i could still talk to you? Still be near you? Despite how you treated me? It is a sad case for a girl like me to be wandering with a guy like you because even i know that i deserve better i guess i was just scared to leave you. I compare people to you and its never the same. Bad move right?? I know.

Miserable and unthinkable. Move on woman move on. Keraskan hati anda anang ngirau nama utai tejako orang as long as you dear dell are the most happiest carefree soul. If you dont need me then why am i needing and wanting and missing every bit of u? Get out of my mind my mouth and my emotional heart. Gosh i wish i was hit by a bus or had some damage on my brain so i can forget everything that ever hurt me.

K i need to sleep and stop sounding so pathetic and angry. Ggrrrrr. Goodbye.

Dear whoever the **** you want to be...

After a quite some time, this woman yes me...had a huge recall of bad memoirs..Guess nothing last forever anyway right. After 3 years of being together with such an awesome guy, who turned out to be a freak. I wasted my lifetime effort finding what love really meant and i think yeah it hurts, i cant feel my heartbeat at times but i wish i was strong enough to leave before. Why the heck did i even be nice or stay? I dont really know to be honest. I am a free soul. The fact you can actually say you're bored makes me disgusted to my core and you clearly did not have any thoughts on me, well well...looks like love slapped you hard this time just that the girl isn't me.. 

You literally wasted my freaking time to be honest, if i can love without you before this, i hope and will live without you now. Its going to be a painful thing but i guess calling it quits with you really made things much more simpler, i dont have to worry much about you because i deserve way better than this miserable treatment. How you treat me today, karma will definitely bite you back harder. I believe that god is great reason being is because..not that im trynna act all holy and shit, but the fact that if he closes this door for me, he's going to open a new one and i believe that it's gonna be a good thing.. New year coming up and i dont want to have to be all sad and shitty on that day itself. I have de-tached myself from this fuckery and i feel like fuck now, but with time (bullshit) i will regain all that is lost on fucking text. This proves me that there are still assholes and chivalry is very much dead. The best part is you never knew how much it burns inside with my side of story. Skeletons in my closets are just dying to come out and be alive again, Joke's on you baby.

 I have to be honest tho, i never felt a relieve and part of me being and feeling empty but the fact it wasnt so painful because he was a jerk to all the other girls he dated, and for what? To be honest you're just financially stable and charming, other than that you're no superman. Some girl will sweep you off your feet and your bank account someday and i would say told you so. I am not ashamed to be hurt because thats the risk i took when i took you back before.. Not going to be another time for sure. I'd be a jerk if i did so. For what? So i can be a fucking rebound to you again and runover anytime you want me to? Pffft. NOT ACCEPTABLE. Fuck you for having a "replacement" a cheap one ofcourse..no offence to her but to you and Fuck me for being so silly. Dear dellany please learn to love yourself more next time. Men are just a part of gods creation, dont take them too seriously. If god permits me to be loved, makesure i know whats going good for me. 

So for this period of time i dare say fuck you asshole, and thank you so much for whatever ( we had our good times but this is by far the worst man ive dated, not to mention a hypocrite for saying my ex was an ass.. look who's talking ) I dont think i need to mention names or anything as such but for sure, this ended in a bad way however. So angryyyyyyy. Someday i will reflect on this and think back and laugh. I shall work on my strengths and kick the weakspot out. Youve just lost something so valuable for a temporary fix. Tsk Tsk so shallow of you. Yes im ranting out the feelings here, not that you would give two fucks anymore the only fuck youre gonna give is a pussy. Like literally, a VAGINA. Oh well, life goes on so now onwards love yourself before you start to love others dell. It's about time. Merry christmas all, its not going to be so merry anymore but hey, Jingle jingle~! Once a year baby. Looking forward to the new years. Godbless everyone and putting things aside, i loved you so much honestly before but you had to make blunders, You turn me off -100% infinity. I hope you're happy with the new found love of yours and i call it off with a simple goodbye. If a text message after 3 years can be settled, why not i leave you something to read? ;) stalker! Cry me a river,an ocean go through the 7 wonders of the world punnnn; youre a stranger to me. For the first time i can actually say and proud to not live in denial anymore that i am BORED of you too.

Dear 2013

Dear life,

How have you been my dear blogspot? Haha lama juga tak conteng in here right. So yeah im not much of a blogger you see.....some people ask if i write or rajin blog about a specific thing or interest or whatever; i used to lah until one fine day. More or less i kinda think today is so malang which is 21st january. Time flies and guess what boohoo the big twentylimayearstua strikes 4th may '13. I mean for real, i feel so old. Most of my feiends are either engaged or married. Im not in any pressure though because literally im a broke ass momma who aint got nuff of everythangggg ya digg? Hehe. Well yeah i used to have big dreams of being a scientist. I wonder where all that creativity and spark went. Considering i didnt really have a happy background growing up as a child named..me.

So whats in this year..lets see. Landed a job at astro and im OH SO GLAD i got the job but at the same time im like OH WHAT THE FROG! Why must life be so unfair at times. But tak baik la right to not appreciate what we have kan. 2013 started off kinda okay i suppose. Atleast its january 21st and its the first time in this year that im sick. Damn you hujan. Come again another day will ya? I met a few of my old friends some who i was close with now became total strangers and from strangers to total strangers and from the bubbly to even bubblier or maybe fake at times. I dont know how they do it. Oh well everyone looked good and great and sophisticated. Glad to call them friends kan!

I wonder how are the other people coping up with theor lives i mean mine sucks always not enough cadh je lah kan haaaa mana tak bila sales tak macam meroyan ke meracau those fingers nak swipe here cash here and there. Must control if not how to start a life doe!! Sheesh lah.

Anyway personal life pulak i dont really know where i stand in your life at the moment but if i happen to ever make you feel happy i guess i dont know how to make me happy. You tend to do the whole chipsmore oreo ad in my life lah so whatever it is que serra serra lah. Depressed much? Pffft.

I am going to bed now folks as i shall update more because i didnt know i can blog with my phone. Noob gila sial. L A M E. Oklabai muahmuah love you nitenite <3