toots.

dont know why but im starting to get annoyed at the mo with some people. lousy tantrums of a 5 year old? grow the fuck up please. i got better things to fuss about than you. dah banyak keje nak buat, ingat aku free ke nak melayan songeh kau. whatever la. sukati kau la bai. aku taknak amek tau. So anyway, as ive mentioned earlier, hmm banyak kot keje nak buat ni. but im procrastinating as always and it fucking annoys me dow. cam palat gile babi. I think this is making me sleepy like most of the time. Unbelievable. And sayang, kalau u sakit tu, go seek professional help lah. its getting worst kan? Youre not okay, i know it. I can feel it although youre far away. I know medicine u banyak sangat pills u have to swallow everyday but if u wanna get on ald live longer, have faith in those pills okay baby? mwahs. Im sure things will turn out ok, and you'll be just fine. jangan notty2 gatal2 go drink any alcoholic beverage. NO. ok? :).

So thats about the thing i wanna blog. Gi mampus la. Blog aku kan, sukahati aku ah nak ckp apa. Kau ada masalah? haha. Ada aku kesah ? no. So go fuck off if you dont like what i fuckin post here. Tak luak duit kau pun kan.

muahmuah,

Ps* i know u love me, if not you wouldnt stalk this shit.

sunday ? ...

So here it goes, i dont feel so sedap hati at the mo'. and now apa da jadi smua i tak tau lah apa nak jadi. i dapat duit raya from imran, yay. thanks ajmain. hihi. went to serdang, zami's house. So far la kan, but the food was fantastic. SUPERB. Open houses ni buat i makan je keje. camne tak cute? hahha. regrets in life, i have a huge regret but then oh well. fuck it. but i think im done crying a river and building a bridge so i can get over it asap. ehehhe. Sakit perut laa ni, is it the raya food ? or the teddy biscuits? Emmm. help.

For some reason im nervous about tonight. What if it doesnt go right what if it turned out to be something euckhh?? or errr or haihhh or hmm. I dont wanna know. Im jus goin with the flow. I'll listen to what you have to say and we'll see lah okay? And thanks to someone , now my name is filthy. you couldve said no if u were a friend of mine, but damn. I think god made u in the wrong part of earth. Oh well, time will tell. Karma is a bitch. Panas laaaaaa arini.

iqa where fr art thou. I nak tertido ni tunggu u. N muzzy, now u know how i feel la kan? So sorry, takpa sayang nanti kita skype kay. Lots more to catch up with u.

Gtg, iqa's prolly downstairs ke aapaa. Mwahs.

Life is good at the mo' yo!

Wednesday, i thought was the sweetest day ever. :) Thank you for always being there for me. Sayang kau banyak2 babe. And i know, he misses me. Aww, :) sweeet la u sayang. Although i selalu dengar that exact words from him, dont know if its like true ke tak lah kan. But im taking my chances, he does it to everyone. No harm done. I dont know what i'm gettin myself into now. yikes. takpa. gamble je nak ? hahaha. What do i have to lose anyway. In an open relationship? In a relationship? Semua full of shit and lies je. id rather go with the flow. Banyak gilers assignments to do, and fuckkkkketttyyyfuckkkkkk semua due nextweek. Blaghh. Semangat sedang membara, but flame almost habis lar, how ah? larrrr.

Now thanks to uitm, i have an iranian friend. new friend perhaps. didnt know shes just the perfect person i'd like to be friends with! eheh. So, now ada 3 musketeers in class and smua with lil horns slowly coming out. Hahah. Neeeaaaaat. So yeahs, i wanna make new friends. Networking, had a few friends whom ive added back from lower n upper secondary and semua lah. I wish i could remember my tadika friends tho, but haih. Its okay. :) We peobably changed alooooooot and i dont wanna remember those days. hahaha. HORROR. So i will be going off to shah alam to finish my work ( harap habis ) and then going for the barbecue or open house ntah amende tah, kat sri kembangan. Hopefully i wont get lost on my way there. But takpe, ejoi ade, GPS! hahaha. he's my putra/cyber gps.

Should i hang out with her? I dont want to sour things up beteen the two of u so, i rasa better takyah je la kot. :) If we lepaked, we lepak. If it happens la kan. Heheh. Cheers! Im off to shah alamsssssss! dodgy place. SIGH. Urgh. toodle. muahmuah.

poiuytrewq.

days go by and finally aku dapat la boran dengan jijah. sooo hard to catch her online! i miss you already. so much to catch up and yes, people i think i need a long break. Thnk god holidays nak dekat but siot la got so much work to do. My emosi kurang stabil lately and i find it so hard to open my eyes. Fuck. Some say im too garang, am i ? I dont think so. I need to get used to this whole being not nice thingy, its kinda making me feel like there's something wrong with me like.. ada something else forcing me to be someone else. Argh. But dell, psycho diri anda, ini untuk kebaikan diri anda. Hehehe. Umm okay, lets see, the other post, yeah i was mad haritu but it wont stay for long, just need time to forget and cleanse my heart, lecturer saya cakap, to be beautiful u must have a clean heart. time to have one ay? Throw this hatred anger bitterness away. I hope and wish everyone for a healthy and wealthy easy life ahead. I soo need a vacation actually. Sayang will you take me on vacation ?? :( please? hehe. We'll go vacation once i see you okay. mwaxh. lamanya tak jumpa you, gile rindu. although you sound so geeky when you laugh but still, ahhahaha. I like. And i made a conclusion that when we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. Thats what i mean yaw! ampun if im being so philosophical at the mo'. Heheh. So i feel pathetic and awkward at 6:03pm because m dead bored and no one's home. Argh. Smua busy je :( apa niii. Tak cool at all lah. Hmm.

Weekends schedule might be packed. Melaka or genting, i decide dulu. Budget haram betol. i dont know lah what i need to do dah. I know what to do ah but still, letih sial ceni. hari2 fikir keje. Bila nak hbs belajaaa ni. PENAT PENAAT. ok lah i wanna find something to do. Laters.

xoxo and muahmuah!~

Lawak but cannot find a way to laugh.

Dear _______ ______.

I dont want you dah, what we had was so long time ago. i cuma kecik hati dengan u. u cant possibly think i love you in that manner lagi ? please be rational. Im not dengki, im not a liar, i dont manipulate things. I just wanted to know the truth. Would i waste my time loving something that cant love me back? No. Were history. Cuma i rasa u should have told me before this mess cropped up. We had a deal, but no, you had to go and do things , this way. My oh my what in the world was i thinking? NOTHING. I dont know anything and outta the blues you appear on my phone inbox marah. WTF man. Get your facts straight dulu dow, ni meluru tak pasal2 sial. Fuck. GERAM SIAL. Your fault la kan, not mine. No guts to tell me. Youre just selfish, you know that? SELFISH. You lost your balls somewhere ke ? Sheesh. I sayang you as a friend , not as a love kinda thing. You betrayed me as a lover and as a friend. I really thought we'd be friends after all that, but judging from where things are falling to pieces now, I cant see the word communicate or friendship anymore. I dont want you. Neither do u, i know. But that doesnt change the fact that ur a fucking jerk. THERE ARE OTHER ways to hurt me too u know, not by that. Wtf, kau kena posses ke apa? Gosh. DOSA. I will not forgive you for that particular day. Too much. I know you're lost and confused, but some things gotta change and i think its you. You cannot and definitely not allowed to treat people like objects. I dont wanna curse, now onwards seri ok? We go dutch on the guilty part. 0-0. You take care and be a man. You're on your own in this prob, i tak nak masuk campur. Its not revenge and not fighting, this aint a battlefield, grow the fuck up, you need to be mature inside not just the outside. Think before you speak. Cukup la i rasa hina ni, its enough, ive had my days of drama's but this is by far the best and it should be nominated with an oscar. Best actor goes to you. Im just one of you pelakon sampingan kan? :) cool. Sigh. People change or maybe its me who cant understand how your world works. Naa. Its partly you. I let go long time ago, i was strong and u pop in balik and blablabla, now see what happenend. ISH. damn i shouldve know better. Oh well, shit happens. What doesnt kill you makes u stronger kan? :) best wishes to you and congratulations, i hate you already. Suka tak ? Its what you wanted so much kan? Here you go. A huge bag of Goodbye's and goodluck's enough to last you for eternity, or i hope it will. There, early christmas present from me. No harm done. Dont talk to me anymore, Just dont have me in ur life. Were done. OVER. FINISH. AKU TAK NAK KAU DAH.

"I tak tau camana nak buang you. ok ?"

Buang? fuck you're rude. I dont knw, maybe you couldnt think wisely at the mo'. But dude, you have brains, so please use it. GERAMNYE AKU DENGAN KAU. But its ok, im fine now, as a matter of fact, i think im okay coz i was just waiting for something like this anyway. A kick start, but not this way. Benda boleh settle, but kau salah settle, ntah apa dalam otak kau tu fikir jahat gila. KEJI is the right word for you. tergamak you buat like that. GOD. Ha ni la peluang keemasan kau. Aku buang kau awal2 dulu so kau takyah susah2 nak fikir pasal aku. This dellany may and _______ is so dead and gone adter 11th march 2009. I dont know u anymore, just stay the fuck away from me. You disgust me. To you i might seem like a trash, but u know what fool, im not as trashy as you. I'd rather lose a friend like you rather than to lose my pride and dignity again and again. Buat baik pon salah. Pelik la u. Ive been nice je kot, tak buat jahat and you assume so many things like this about me. If i curang dengan you, lain cite, the fact i dont ? Pfft. You sakitkan hati i terlampau banyak. I tak boleh tahan dah. I wish you well, Godbless and semoga bahagia. I hope u halalkan makan minum n semua as i halalkan everything. Just go okay. Stop all this nonsense.
Stop.


Goodbye and goodnight.

-me-