what this woman feels.

this angry feeling inside me is killing me so deep. I cant help but have this mix emotions. I am wishing for a miracle wishing for things that are somewhat impossible. If any of them came, i guess wishes do come true. Hope, thats something that we always do. We hope for something so much and it doesnt happen. When it doesnt, we get fuckin' disappointed right. I was up and down that emotional valley and recently things seems dull and blue. Guilty pleasures? Been there, done that. That wont help right now. How i wish i had a family like any other normal families. I wish i had a complete set of this thing god created called family. I miss that moment when i was a kid. Went to genting with 20 bucks survival cash and i managed to survive. Apart from that, kids running around with their parents and siblings around made me felt so envious lookin at them. I had that life before. I wish i could have it back, but thank god i stick to reality.

I feel incomplete, despite losing someone whom i thought was the one for me, turned out he was a man with thousand or millions of mysteries, Unsolved. What bothers me is..... I dont know what the hell thats disturbing my peace of mind at this very moment. Im at wits end but gosh, little things annoy me so quickly and this is not me. I dont give a rats ass about YOU. My life doesnt revolve around you, and please stop treating me like im just so fucking stupid because you know what dear, im not. I have brains and im not like em bimbo's you refer to as bimbo's, for all i care you're a jerk, you'd probably e.jerk.culated on all the girls kan :) so typical of a jerk. Annoyed and Angry and semua ah, i couldnt be bothered anymore about anything.

I know my birthday is tomorrow, and i already feel like its a total mess. I cried more than 3 times today for some reason la, itu P&C. Im not a crybaby, and i dont know i think i was being too hard on myself. I should be stronger than this because maybe god is testing me right now, i dont know. Im not proud of being who i am right now, it would probably take me forever to undo mu mistakes and flaws. god have mercy. I am trying so hard to be patient and endure this fucked up scenery and situation and not to mention, PEOPLE. Get the fuck away from me, you disgust me and fyi, i dont wish to be around you, if i had the choice, i'd rather be dead than to be annoyed or see your face.

I feel bad for feeling this way, bak kata someone i know, tak baik sedih2 nanti angels taknak visit you. Well, that depends if they even want to come near me. Pffft. Im like the black sheep of the good citizen. Torn between evil and good. Fuck, my lips hurt so bad right now. I want to go back to shah alam tonight, bur the situation just doesnt seem right. Dont wanna be at home right now, i just wanna go far, someone please take me outta this world. Last paper is on Tuesday and then im done. Tonight, study and sleep. Tomorrow wake up like its a normal day where i dont have to think of anything. My life is a mess and i know others is probably more fucked than this, but im always tryin to look on the broghter side of life. Think positive, the only thing that keeps me sane and alive. I gotta go, before my post sound any more depressing that it has already sounded in my previous post's.

till death do i part,
Me.

I loike.

Mungkin aku bisa bercinta dengan kamu

Kendati kata kata mu selalu

Menusuk jantung melukaiku

Mungkin ku mau memaafkan mu kembali

Demi cinta yang ada di hatiku

Meloloskan mu dari kata pisah

Mungkin sang fajar dan sayap burung burung patah

Menyaksikan kita berseteru

Slalu tak pernah damai

Mungkin cintaku terlalu kuat dan menutupi

Jiwa yang dendam akan kerasmu

Sehingga kita bersama...

mungkin.

[ . ]

I'm angry tired and upset , all this negativity is killing me deep down inside.

I need motivation, inspiration and whatever it is i can hold on to right now.

Help?

Hmmmm.

Annoyed and scared because i did something to my brothers pc. Big Uh-Oh. Im sorry.

Dad, for once i wish you were actually there for me as a FATHER.

Mom, stop nagging and saying things i dont wanna hear, they hurt my feelings alot.

Bestfriends, I wish we never had to be so far away from each other.

You, stay the fuck away from me because you're bad for my health.

Me? I need to get all this mess outta my system and get back on track.

End.

Sexy summer grooves~

I didn't get it when he hung up the phone
He said that he's all alone and that's when I heard her moan, I get it
It's not a secret that he's working till late, but then he doesn't come home
And now he's switched off the phone, I get it

Tell me something baby, tell me this ain't true
Tell me something baby, tell me this ain't true
I won't be crying for you no more, baby

The love has gone, that took me high
Now you've gone and left me, boy you're wasted my time
It's breaking my heart, you know this ain't fair
I deserve better, but you don't even care

Where is the love, that took me high
Now you've gone and left me, boy you're wasted my time
It's breaking my heart, you know this ain't fair
I deserve better, but you don't even care

I'm taking back my, my heart from hiss hands
He's got another love so I'm taking a stand
I've stand and watched our, our love drift away
I've looked into his eyes and he had nothing to say

Tell me something baby, tell me this ain't true
Tell me something baby, tell me this ain't true
I won't be crying for you no more, baby

The love has gone, that took me high
Now you've gone and left me, boy you're wasted my time
It's breaking my heart, you know this ain't fair
I deserve better, but you don't even care

Where is the love, that took me high
Now you've gone and left me, boy you're wasted my time
It's breaking my heart, you know this ain't fair
I deserve better, but you don't even care

You had me baby, and now we're through
You've been messin' with my heart and yes you know it's true
I won't sit here waiting, boy you're out of time
Just look into my eyes you must have something to say

I won't be crying for you no more... baby

The love has gone, that took me high
Now you've gone and left me, boy you're wasted my time
It's breaking my heart, you know this ain't fair
I deserve better, but you don't even care

Where is the love, that took me high
Now you've gone and left me, boy you're wasted my time
It's breaking my heart, you know this ain't fair
I deserve better, but you don't even care

kejadian.

ooh ive been facebooking and OMG sangat sangat geram because my memory card is CORRUPTED. Bengong betol lah kan.all the things inside. Gone. Its probably a sign hahaha. Card i corrupt cam cibai la!! MY CONTACT NUMBERS SMUA DALAM TU KOT! WARGH. Geram sungguh. Facebook quizzes are killing me and i cannot tahan going in and ouuttttaa the toilet dah. Ive decided why need some people in ur life if they dont need you kan, so i had to cut it off. For good perhaps. Maybe things will just be less complicated since dia tu cam kasik reasons that makes you feel like "wth???" if youre not sincere about it, then just dont bother la kay. there goes another weird friendship of mine. ATH i tak study agy! Ceneeeehhhhhhh!! :( Help. Someone be my dictionary and ispiration and motivation to keep me up all night long since coffee aint my bestfriend anymore. Sheesh. Aza, i geram kot i cuba call you but tak dapattt. HMMMFT! It was a birthday call tauuu :'( I miss you woman. Wishing i'd have u and myra around for my birthday. How sucky it was, i know you girls always managed to cheer me up. Now i seem like i have nothing to look forward to besides my pillows. I want ya'll around so badly!! Can i have that for my birthday? :( sheesh. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and myra, i got story i wanna tell u. Ouch gak lah kan, Hmm later i story when i see u online kay. Anyways gtg, study collage and whatnot. Hmmm. Cant wait for my holidays! xoxo, Love you.