how could you..

I baru fsedar so many things about you that i didn't wanna know. actually I hardly know you. I was dating a stranger before this. You kept your emotions well hid. I was a slut, a cheap whore whom you so called love. Why la why you had to make me like this. I bet you're having a blast with your life right now. You sure left me feeling like shit, you know that? Never have i ever felt so disgusted with myself. The relationship was just a lie. YOU broke my heart into pieces, but im not letting any of that get in the way. I dont care about us, or being friends ke apa, bosan aku nak buat effort thats just meant for nothing. You need to step into reality, were all not getting younger. grow up and be mature.

Whats left of me? Anger and feeling filthy. The only thing i had and now? Nothing. I don't blame you, i blame myself for trusting someone who could just throw me away like that. Apa masalah you dowhhh. Was the reason that you've given me the same as the ones you gave your other ex's? If you did em wrong, sangat berdosa you buat macam tu kat dorang. I know how they're feeling right now. You ingat perempuan ni apa? Sampah? Patung? Candy? I dont know. Gosh im so disappointed with you. Tell me if the assumptions i made is wrong lah kan tapi i rasa macam smua ada je ah yang betul abt u. About the drinking part, im sick and tired of being accused or hated for making people think that im making your life memudaratkan and all. Maybe your friends and family or whoever thinks im a bad influence. But the truth is, If you never wanted to do things i wanted to do eg. booze or whatever, you could've said no.

Freedom, ever heard of that? Apa salah i? Ajak u mabuk skali? too much fun? Pffft. Dude, kalau kau taknak, takyah ah minum. Kalau kau rasa aku jahat, aku ni mofo bitch ke, stay the fuck away from me je lah k, youre not such a saint anyway. Maybe youre like those guys, just trying their luck. You told me that once, wtf man. You sama je dengan dorang semua. SAMA. I thought u were different. Looks like you are the same as those "dudes" out there. Built to hurt, not meant to love. I dont wanna blame anyone, i dont wanna point fingers at you, maybe the whole kerispatih song was just so your song, but you listen la to that song, tapi bukan aku , Im dedicating that to you now. You totally ticked me off man, tak pernah i rasa cam kena tipu. So much for being honest, hah. In my face.

HIPOKRIT sangat2. Dusta. Semua la. pandai betul kau main pretend, i dont know la. Now i rasa smua ni macam a game to you. I was just a fucking phase for you to get over someone else. Like im some kinda rebound. I pon jahat gak, but tengok orang lah kan. Glad things between us ended there and then. I wouldnt wanna be with a person who's not honest, afraid and ashamed of their love. You and i are so done, i swear you'll never find happiness anywhere if you keep on acting like this. Dissapear, gone macam tu je. ke aapa alasan you? hmmm. I tak rasa u akan reply message i, i tak kesah. Calls, i called and you didnt even return my calls. Ak elahhh, takpe lah wei. seriously takpa. Semoga Kau bahagia. You and me, history of the 11th of each month. But just so you know, those things i said to you before semua betul, the love u blablabla whatever loveydovey shits ive said. I stayed because i had hopes for you, for us. Now i understand love ada double meaning for me and u, ke takda, i dont bloody know man, your messed up mind can crush anyone as fragile as me la kot.

You should be ashamed at yourself. Grow up and please use your brains and heart and instinct. Not just your "head" down there. Kata-kata i ni may sound harsh, i dont even know if you read this. kalau u baca, haa baca la, Sure u rasa nak tampar i ke apa. Hahaha. Bring it on la okay, i dont give two fucks dah. Bencii hina malu smua ada kat i, so if you hate me for this after this la kan, elok benar la tu. Dear lie, you suck. Dear dell, you are the clown and crowned as the most stupid person on earth of 2009. I dont know what the fuck im talking about right now. But things are falling to pieces slowly. Days and nights together before now all remained nightmares to me. Congratulations, i already hate you. Tuhan itu maha penyanyang and yeah i beleive god is great. Becareful for what you wish for. Selamat tinggal masa lalu, selamat datang dunia baru.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
Next to my grandma.

What do you think about love?
Full of lies and drama.

Do you care what other people think about you?
Mmm, not at all..

Ever had a song written for/about you?
Once ah, tu pun bunyi cam WTH. haha, but thanks darls. twas sweet of you.

How is your heart?
messy and bloody.

Least favorite celebrity?
siti norhaliza.

How do you feel about your life right now?
What a bitch, but i love it.

Are you too trusting?
Yeah.

Do you have any obsessions? If so, what?
Used to, my phone. Now SLR!! :D

Have any idols or heros?
Ade, granny and Used to be; my dad.

Which of your friends treats you the best?
My bestfriends ofcourse.

Favorite song at the moment?
The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore by james morrison.

Have you ever had a bf/gf cheat on you?
Yeah.. outta 6 maybe 5?

Have YOU ever cheated on a bf/gf?
I should have~!

Name a song that makes you cry.
Aku mau - once.

What scares you the most?
Relationship + Exams + failing in life + no money + God.

Most annoying song?
lady gaga - just dance and in the ayer !!!!!!

Worst movie ending?
Umm the last movie i watched, internazional or something.. yeah itu cam ERR?

Aren't skittles awesome?
Good for the mood, bad for the health..

Do you have a crush right now?
hihihi.

another weekend.

Oooh you are so funny. Yes...yes im good, excellent, superb and marvellous in bed. Wanna know why? Because i can sleeeeep for hours and maybe days if you overdosed me with ubat tido ke apa ke can last for a week? hahahah. Mengarut!!! But i can sleep sampai mati. No joke. So anyway i was at work today and then mom called told me that grandma was sick. Im scared i dont have much time left, and if something happened, i tak sempat nak bergurau senda with my nenek. Im very close to her ever since i was a kid and i missed sleeping with her around me. Sampai i besar panjang gini pon dia still panggil i manja-manja and selalu belai i sampai i tdo. Arghhh why does the good people always ditimpa bala. kenapa la orang yang cam palat ni smua tak je kena sambar petir ke sakit teruk ke apa ke. I hope she's holding on to her life. And waits till i get back there by her side. Please grand, dont go just yet. Wait for me kay, i promise i'll be there soon. I love you gran.

this is awkward and sad, what a year. tremendously and shockingly not what i expected. I met a new friend, he told me about life and he just guessed out my bits of life althought i dont talk much cuz i tak kenal dia pon, tetibe je nak cakapp dengan i. then yeaah, i admit he did say a few correct things. A FEW je la. I was putting too much hopes and expecting sooo high and all till i crush and fall so badly. I never let myself trust, feel, love fully. Something's holding me back, i dont know what. What? Hahaha i dont know. Well i've decided, i'm still young.. lots more to learn, many people to know with all sorts of background,And because of that i must redah this world. No matter how hard i fall, i will get back on track because im not a loser and im not afraid of anything in this world except for one, god. Itu lumrah hidup.

currently listening to t.i - whatever you like , baby you can have whatever you liiiikeee~ what do you like? what do u want? ahahaha, jawab jawab! :D Im feeling !@#$%^&* = which means i dont know how to describe. Im happy, crazy, hyper, sad, naughty, horny ( HAHA ), gloomy, depressed and all... but im okay. You know? I bet you dont. Ni la masalah haha i dont understand myself. Planning to stop all the shannanigans by 21 and be serious by then ( macam la i tak pernah serious before this? Pffft.). I dont consider myself mature, but certain things i can compare the good and the bad, sometimes i cant. So im democratic-ly mature ah. Hahahah. How? I dont know. CHup chup. gotta work. Menunggu iqa and jaja ke sini untuk melepek and then maybe heading to putrajaya for the hot air balloon fest lah kot and to socialize yo! xoxo! Love ya. And granny, wait wait and pls wait for me. I swear i will come for you soon. Hang in there. I miss you.

Lotsa junk,
Dellany May.

True or not true? Hahah.

Dellany took What does your birthday say about you? quiz and the result is May.


Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

double a.

Sometimes people can be so menjengkelkan and sangat stupid, this i refer to myself yang i baru sedar. All this while, what i had, my feelings for someone who i called love was just all fake and pretend and tah, palsu ahhh. You know what, thanks for nothing. I dont know what was your intentions may it be good or bad, maybe i was a mistake to you. A big one. So anyway, youre crazy, and im stupid. I did a mistake yang sangat besar, letting myself fall in for your sweet nothings, i wasnt all paranoid over you, ntah la kan, some secrets are unfolding themselves and now everything makes sense to me. I was just a phase to you. But you know what, i dont care.

Yes, looks can be deceiving. Kalau you tgh baca blog ni, jangan terasa okay. My blog, my thoughts, my words. :) so, all this while i was the Laundromat and i know blaming myself aint getting no where because i tak bersalah, and i did not do anything wrong, like seriously wei. Sape2 dalam my situation pun akan freak out to the way you behave okay. maybe this happened coz of obligations ke apa tapi i sumpah la if its because of a third party, youre such a fucker and the biggest good for nothing mofo. Mesti you pernah Stereotype me like the girls you had kan? If you did, wow.. standards i low gile ke apa. If you ada a new girlfriend, good for you. Semoga bahagia, and i tumpang gembira. Kalau i wanted to do things behind you, i'd do it long time ago la. So cut the crap, you said you wanted to be friends kan? Not making an effort at all ke u menyampah ke meluat ke busy ke whatever your reasons are, takpayah la nak jadi kawan kalau tak nak okay? I dont like to be pulled around like some rag doll. Another time and place perhaps if we still remember each other. kau pon dah kahwin time tu so, bagus la. i tried to be your friend, let you go. its what you wanted, so fine la, i nak terhegeh hegeh kat you macam hina je diri i ni like im so pathetic.

Betul apa yang u said its tough for us to be together but nothing is impossible. All the reasons that i got from you, i dont know lah. Been there, heard that? This thing actually cuma nak tak nak. So you taknak, what the hell why should i even give a damn trying. Youre not a part of my life anymore and betul kata someone, my happiness used to be you, but i can be happy even without you. Im sad, but somehow glad its done so you takyah fikir panjang, kusut kepala otak and apape pasal "US" anymore dah. Bagus kan, see how i make your life easier? satu benda je la, i nak kasi barang i beli for you on valentines day. Kalau u tak nak jumpa, i'll drop it off someplace ke ask someone to kasi u the barang. I dont know. Goodbye for good ke goodbye forever ke lantak, all i know is may god bless you and good luck in life lah kay. I dont hate you, so jangan salah faham k. I just wanna get things cleared once and for all. If you wanna go, just go. You asked me to go, so therefore, Im gonna be gone after this. You take care kay? bye stranger. In some way, thanks for everything youve given me and thought me, some things werent great and some was like WTF but, i'll remember the times we had and all :) cheers!