double a.

Sometimes people can be so menjengkelkan and sangat stupid, this i refer to myself yang i baru sedar. All this while, what i had, my feelings for someone who i called love was just all fake and pretend and tah, palsu ahhh. You know what, thanks for nothing. I dont know what was your intentions may it be good or bad, maybe i was a mistake to you. A big one. So anyway, youre crazy, and im stupid. I did a mistake yang sangat besar, letting myself fall in for your sweet nothings, i wasnt all paranoid over you, ntah la kan, some secrets are unfolding themselves and now everything makes sense to me. I was just a phase to you. But you know what, i dont care.

Yes, looks can be deceiving. Kalau you tgh baca blog ni, jangan terasa okay. My blog, my thoughts, my words. :) so, all this while i was the Laundromat and i know blaming myself aint getting no where because i tak bersalah, and i did not do anything wrong, like seriously wei. Sape2 dalam my situation pun akan freak out to the way you behave okay. maybe this happened coz of obligations ke apa tapi i sumpah la if its because of a third party, youre such a fucker and the biggest good for nothing mofo. Mesti you pernah Stereotype me like the girls you had kan? If you did, wow.. standards i low gile ke apa. If you ada a new girlfriend, good for you. Semoga bahagia, and i tumpang gembira. Kalau i wanted to do things behind you, i'd do it long time ago la. So cut the crap, you said you wanted to be friends kan? Not making an effort at all ke u menyampah ke meluat ke busy ke whatever your reasons are, takpayah la nak jadi kawan kalau tak nak okay? I dont like to be pulled around like some rag doll. Another time and place perhaps if we still remember each other. kau pon dah kahwin time tu so, bagus la. i tried to be your friend, let you go. its what you wanted, so fine la, i nak terhegeh hegeh kat you macam hina je diri i ni like im so pathetic.

Betul apa yang u said its tough for us to be together but nothing is impossible. All the reasons that i got from you, i dont know lah. Been there, heard that? This thing actually cuma nak tak nak. So you taknak, what the hell why should i even give a damn trying. Youre not a part of my life anymore and betul kata someone, my happiness used to be you, but i can be happy even without you. Im sad, but somehow glad its done so you takyah fikir panjang, kusut kepala otak and apape pasal "US" anymore dah. Bagus kan, see how i make your life easier? satu benda je la, i nak kasi barang i beli for you on valentines day. Kalau u tak nak jumpa, i'll drop it off someplace ke ask someone to kasi u the barang. I dont know. Goodbye for good ke goodbye forever ke lantak, all i know is may god bless you and good luck in life lah kay. I dont hate you, so jangan salah faham k. I just wanna get things cleared once and for all. If you wanna go, just go. You asked me to go, so therefore, Im gonna be gone after this. You take care kay? bye stranger. In some way, thanks for everything youve given me and thought me, some things werent great and some was like WTF but, i'll remember the times we had and all :) cheers!

murka.

Sangat pist off with em siblings. fuckersssssss, kalau takle tu takle je la takyah nak maki hamun prangai cam budak kecik je walaupun dah tua, is it always like that!? GOSH. Uni is such a bitch, parking dah xle masuk ikut depan, naik bas gak. fucker kan? yes. period aku hari kedua sangat palat. ouchness merata. urgh what else can go wrong!? ooh but mommy beli i slr nikon d60 je. I want the tripod hahaha nanti bole amek family portrait. HAHA. I also did some DIY therapy for my kusut soul right now, and it felt superb. Another week in shah alam, aaaaaaaaa can i ever survive it!?? CAN I?? can laa ;) janji mosk ade rock je la. Lets just say i think im about to be sick, again. This year suey ah, seriously bengong nak mampos. But anyway, look on the bright side ( sperti biasa dong ) of life. Paaalat period ku sakit. Will be driving the kancheeel to shah alam tonight, takut lak. Hahaha lama tak bawak manual. Hahaha nanti ade je terdrift! chwah. Im off to do ma work now yang banyak nak mampos bertimbun oh shnitzels, and hoping that money falls from the sky a.s.a.p lah, aku sangatlah teramat pokai hanya abang aku yng tak bergune tu tau. Hampehhh. So long , farewell, toodledoos~

gelikihustred. Ha campo banyak2 ayat2 ni la u dapat..

Youre complicating my mind. my thoughts are disturbed. tergantung jalan cite and i duno u nak ape sebenarnye. pening gak la kan. Mana aci dow. I feel restless every night now, u said you wanna see me, not now. When? Were friends already, and i accept it. You asked for this and now u cant even see me as a friend? Apa niii. Come on, whats done is done, you and i know so well. Btw, the facebook message that you didnt read or dont bother tu, was written a few days after the break up. So i was still hoping for something. But now i realized, you and i arent meant to be. I just felt we left things bitter. Like, tergantung u know. Once and for all just settle things for good, you go your way, i go mine. Tu saja. Its hard, but this is a decision in life whr everyone has to make. Good things need sacrifice right? I faham, so please dont give me the reason youre not ready, takkan bila u dah kahwin baru u nak jumpa i. Memang tak ah. So tolong la faham that, i ni dah anggap us as kawan, just like you wanted. You said it yourself you still wanna be friends. But if u keep on avoiding me, sampai bila je la u nak lari dari i. Dah2, its really up to you, your decision. Dont regret whatever decision you make lah k. But if you dont wanna see me at all, i tak tau la apa nak cakap kan, maybe im messed up, aint got no $, bitchy, fugly towards you ke apa, its up to you to think apapa k? you can think for yourself. If youve found someone new, good for you. Were already going our separate ways now, it aint easy but you know what, the pain im feeling is more than any word can describe. If you rasa sakit, i feel it too. Maybe more than what you're feeling if you feel anything lah kan. I refuse to accept the reason of not ready and whatnot, youre old enough to handle your feelings. you confuse me and i dont understand you because you never let me do so ;)

Agenda seterusnye,

Today, karaoke was weirdly good and man u macam kimak je main, fukkkk fukkk fukkkk. fuck liverpool!!!! tak best langsung. 4 - 1? Sangat what the fuck. Ronaldo main cam palat today, tapi takpa cintaku lockdown untukmu. Haha. fuck la main cam kimakkkkkk je man u arini. Ape kess!? Dah la i owe someone a bet, mati la i. Haihhh. So i gave mr smileyface a song to listen to when he misses me, bole lak dia kasi lagu seram kat aku, kawan apo macam tu la jang!? ahahhaa. Well today was exiting, long time no hear from a long lost friend of mine. Banyak gak merepek ah tapi style dengar org sambil melayang sorang2. shittostititos, got lotsa work to be done pagi niii, will be changing mode to be set to workaholic and zzzzzz soon. Please la daddy bank in my money as i selaku anakmu, sangat the broke right now. I need to sleep foshiznitz, mata dah stone habis dah ni hahahaha oh mosk and mary, thanks guys. well then, goooooooooooooooodnight malaysia tadi and goodmorning maaalaysia noww ;).

last but not least..

Im gonna remember you, i tried being friends with you, you wouldnt want to, i dont know whats holding you back. whatever lah kay, i'm tired and i feel like i ni macam terhegeh-hegeh of making efforts and hoping and then poof, tah ape jadi. lol. If this means goodbye sampai bila2, then goodbye it is, youre no longer a part of my life anymore and im dealing with it just fine, there will be times when i feel weird sikit but takpa, life is bittersweet! I do miss you so much and all, you know i still love you and i'll always do even as a friend. But if it has to end in here, on the net..pfft what to do la kan! So, if youre reading this, take care always okay and behave ;) I hope you find someone who loves you as much as i do and goodluck in your future undertakings ( betul ke ayat i?) do the best in life, you can succeed if you want to :) work a lil hard but work smart la. And thank you so much sayang for everything, i still owe u something.. alaa P&C la nak ckp sini kan, so yeah. God bless you in everything that you do, my thoughts, love and care will never change and will always be there for you. Goodbye love.

what used to be.. or still is.. or.. i dont know.. :(

my pursuit of happiness.