the night ends..

I went karaoke-ing with my girlfriends and some of my guy friends. Well lets just say i totally sakitkan my peti suara. Lol. But its all good. A few songs came up and made me eyes tearyyy mearyy oh so sapppy. Sigh. I miss you, and thats for sure. I know its awkward now that i said somethings i shouldnt have, no im not mad at you silly, why would i. Pffft, just that some jerks just pist me off so badly that made me realize woman/girls = big boi's toys. Haih. Jantans nowadays, unpreDICKtable. Other than that, today was a painful day, my back ache got worst and i felt like godzilla was in my abdomen doing senaman haram! sakit kot! Benci benci. urgh. im on hols now, not doing any work at all, whats left to do actually? Heheheh cam takde banyak lak keje nak buat. Aura tak sampai lagi, cene nak buat keje maa!! Sabaq naa. i can feel the pain kickin in again. Aaaah HELP. So i was at the movies watching harry potter aritu, tak best ah. cam apa je. Pfft. BOring. banyak love scene. I wanna watch the last one lah. Dah la sejuk nak mampos aritu. Im sorry yer jika saya beraksi seperti terkejut beruk ketika si harry dipegang oleh creature yang nampak cam gollumn tu. Its just shocking la kot. So, i should stop so-ing. I so so much that i hate to type so. LOL. Crap again, i should stoppp now. Find something to do then zzz. Heheh. Mwahs. Ruvv youuuu bloogy.

blahhhh.

Some idiot texted me for some bootycall, ingat aku apeee? slut ? pffft. dah dah la tu ok. PLEASE LA STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. i mean it FOR REAL. u got me when i didnt recognize the number there for a sec. Ooh, not anymore. whatever it is, u and i ? HISTORY.

Its not that i hate you for what had happened but i mean , i dont know how to explain the feelings inside me. Its no doubt that i have a soft spot for you in my heart but i gotta let that burn away because its starting to light a fire in my heart. Its bad. I know for sure its the end of the road.

I was walking around campus and i saw someone who looked exactly like you, head to toe, was just another you. I tried to distract myself from the you-lookalike, but still, i just had to look. That made me smiled and laughed off at the what could have been and has been. I know its kinda lame and stupid to say, but there was one fine night i woke up and i wanted to call you so badly and tell you how much i miss you, but i took a reality check and thank god, i didnt make that stupid call that i might just regret. I dont know lah.

Its just a phase like one of my friend who was going through the same shit as me, but her's ? UNbelievably cruel la the jerk. that jerk, Which happens to be a friend of mine as well wasnt the nicest person she couldve been with. Tsktsktsk. Whats happening to all the good qualitiues in a guy ? That , remains unanswered. I dont want to think of life as something complicated. Its all simple. And yes , you provided me everlasting reasons to make me weak before and i dont know if you were ever true to me. You know what will hurt me the most, knowing i was just a toy to you. I loved you wholeheartedly before. I hope you understand how i feel. Today im feeling a little emo because, i dont know. Period nak datang ke ? Maybe.

I guess life's pain and pleasure knocks you down at any given day when you're not prepared for it. Ive done things im not proud of, Its personal. Suicide? Almost near. Slept over myra's semalam. Dapat la catch up dengan dia and iqa. I called hill to check on him and see if he's fine. After that incident, things are kinda okay. thank god. I cannot wait to balik sarawak again next year, this time next stop : SANTUBONG! heehehe. And finding cocoros for the stock ;) no more rave lah. payau gile rasa. Other than that, got tons of assignment to do, but mmm as usual, procrastinating!! heheh. Bossan gylaaaaaa. I wanna go out, sunway, genting whatever activity besides my work that is given by my lecturer please!

I miss my mat salleh bestie, woman aku hello, and well atleast i got a hello back but then u went m.i.a ! Ish. geram ni. I miss u okay. I guess i miss everyone now and then huh. hmm.

Lotsa love hugs and confusion,

me.

Delusional you.

seriously what were u thinkin.. creepin on her back and tellin another lie.. just tell her the truth and be her man. now tak pasal2, she called and question me on my motives. i cant lie to her for you, firstly because u didnt ask me to. but basically i dont know to whom youre being truthful to. its just wrong, no one likes to be cheated on. i faham how she feels. dude get ur facts right and stop lying for gods sake. gosh. apa kena dengan kau ni. EISH. whatever it is. i dont wanna be a part of your dramas. I got my own to deal with right now, being in a relationship is a big thing, i told you from the start, if you're taken then act like one. ni tak, awek kau call aku bunyi marah and all, but thank god shes ok with it now. dont get upset, i dont know whats the deal now, i told her the truth. whatever youve been tellin me, i told her lah because i dont know anything or whats goin on with you and her. now go do your part, leave me outta the picture and babe, i have no intentions to take your position as his girlfriend. I am a girl and im his friend. thats about it. so stop all this shannanigans. ok? haih. ntah apape la korg neh. grow up la people. dah tua bangka pon still mau fuss and fight ka? dude, jangan kasi aku gelak la ok, cite kau tu yang pelik2 tu aku tak tau kau cerita betul ke kau cite haram ke. whatever lah ok. lady, u aint gotta be trippin coz i aint talkin to him dah, menambah drama je.

dah dah i nak mandi. panas nak mampos. I got an essay to do and i wanna finish it. got koko esok and cam palat je nak gi pagi2. goshhh. T.T ini menyebabkan teardrops on my pillow. hahahaha. ok lah, chalo bobbys and bettys.

muahx.

Jijah Mangso Oohhnavy~

Sapa kata i dont love you ?
Cis.
I do ok.
Dah streamyx cam gampang kot aza,
I cannot do anything, Kite tgk each other stuck stuck kot!~
But yeah it was great seeing u kejap, walaupun KEJAP pon.
Hahah.
I love u lah wei, kau neh. Mwahxx!
Ay baybayhh nanti kite go indepth coverage with my story and yeah,
I hope u get ur cerita merita up in hurrrrr too aite ?

Xoxox,
The bestfriend.

dellany may speaks.

ok, skipped class today sebab bangun lambat. salah aku ke sebab halusinasi or its a bloody truth. damn u stupid "thing" ! sebab kau aku terjaga and bangun lambat. What a nightmare. the moment was fucking scary. Just when i dont wanna believe in all this hempap la apa la bunian thing, fine ya'll exist. Just leave me out of ur business please invisible people. And yeah, i was so upset this morning because i skipped class! i dont wanna repeat the same mistake i did before. it caused me ONE HELL OF A MESSED UP GRADE. Urgh. Nextime kena tarok 10 alarms ke apapae to puaskan my telinga and perasaan. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. perasaan guilty ni membakar diriku. how bad can this feeling get!?? ISh. Dah la this semester, my classes will be till saturday, chances for me to balik rumah? 10%. I miss my bed already. Gosh. So like anyway, there's someone whom pops in and outta my head nowadays. like, are you for real. Disturbing lah jugak kadang2 kan. But i like having you in my thoughts. Like i got something to look forward to lah you know. I know its been a while since ive talked to you, but i think that'll be more practical to tell you how much i miss you later on kan :)

Urgh ni ptptn satu hal lagi dah, i have ni bloooody idea how to settle the thing. Orang ckp online and whatnot, ok i applied online. Now what? Whats next? I soo need to call them and ask the procedure. Maybe go bsn and get a new pin. Old registration was fucked. Hahahaha. Hmmm jpa, i dah apply tak tau dpat ke tak. Hopefully ok kot, kalau tak, ptptn je lah alamatnya. Sheesh. Oh well, the room as in my room now is a mess, assignments semakin bertambah and yes, merepek2 je benda dibeli sekali harung dah 150. Gylourz!! This month budget ku memang lari habis habisan. I wonder if i can actually register fr advanced photography lagi ke tak. Uni's student portal registration system is so fucked and sakit otak la nak register subjects. Dah teramatlah kusut. Like syasya cakap, life's ever easy, when youre down, sometimes you go down some more. Hahahahha cipet ah, heish and i can never win her more than what, 2 or 3 rounds of tai tee ? Shittos! Tak suka gila main tai tee dengan dia!!! ahahah jealous ah kan sebab she selalu menang!! Im a loser in tai tee la kot. Oh well.

Update, semalam i baring2 tetibe rindu la kat my ian. Lama tak kacau dia. Bahan dia. Blasah dia. Pow dia. Hmmm. :( RINDU ! I dont really miss my mom lah bcause aritu dia da datang s.a kan jumpa makan dinner and kena marah dengan dia and now i miss her ah, but sikit ah. Houhh what a life. Please la degree, be nice to me. I wanna get rid of you a.s.a.p and just pass with flying colours! :/ dah la mummy wants me to sambung masters pastu!?!! GILE KE KEJE AKU NAK BLAJA SAMPAI MATI. No way. Takpe, benda boleh settle. Siot ahhh sabtu ni ada koko, public speaking. That lady who's teaching in class, not so funny i find her jokes offensive. I said to bring anything else, and she said my brains and blablabla. and i was like wtf at ffirst, but then again i ended up with a hahaha ok ma'am.

Aza ni, im sorry for not being able to go on skype/msn/ym with you darls. Aku busy gila now and assignment melambak, got many things on my mind. Unwanted drama's. But if u see me online, tegur je ah kay. I still love u la wahai ghetto booster ku. ;) always had and always will. In a straight way ok. Lol.

Well, thats all for now. Im gonna get my shower, and do some of my work. God bless me and god bless everyone. Oh god, gimme the strength to carry on in this life of mine ( dramatic nya bunyi but i dont give a fuck ) and let me not know the meaning of tired and laziness throughout my semester!! Amen.

Hahaha. whattakwan!

Lotsa love,
Maymaydellymay.