hmmm.

Call me a liar,
when i speak but the truth
Stab me and bleed me,
when all i do is try to be good
Give me a dunce cap,
because that's what i deserve
Call me your names,
i am numb to the pain...

What did i do
to deserve this treatment
Why is nothing i do ever right
no matter how hard i try
Wait, don't tell me,
it's cause i'm a...
screwup
liar
idiot
slut
imperfect
mistake

Too bad i was born,
i'm a waste of your time
Why do you even bother
acknowledging i'm alive
To make your life better
i'll cease to exist
No longer a person,
i'll be a shadow
Glimpse me out of
the corner of your eye
And i'll slip away.

palois

ohhhhhhh hell no. today i fel emotionally abused. sakit hati okay. ingat aku ni pe. im made outta flesh andblood with brains and feelings. please do treat me with respect. im not what you think i am. fuck that lah. im just so fucking pist off. pantang nak mampos orang do that to me. fyi, i didnt read your messages at all. i just went thru the names. thats all. wanna be mad at me for that? you siap check and ask who those people are. i dont wanna have bad relationships with u people but please stop annoying me. sumpah another time you tick me off, that will be my first and last hello ever. sangat pist off and i dont give 2 fucks about what youre gonna say or think of me later on. abused, used and refused. thats what i am, im never letting that happen ever. today just started out pretty badly. fuckety fuck. goodnight.

serenade me :)

Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down
It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now
Not a whisper, the only noise is the receiver
I'm counting the seconds until you break the silence
So please just break the silence

The whispers turn to shouting
The shouting turns to tears
Your tears turn into laughter
And it takes away our fears

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

And I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling
I'm feeling inspired
My world just flip turned upside down
It turns around, saw that's that sound
It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder
My heart beat, is louder than ever
I'm feeling alive, I'm feeling alive

My whispers turn to shouting
The shouting turns to tears
Your tears turn into laughter
And it takes away our fears

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me
I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me
That's what you get
When you see your life in someone else's eyes
That's what you get, that's what you get

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you
This world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

* I still get butterflies everytime i listen to this song :) mmmmuah *

wouuuwouuuyeaaayeaaaa~

Cher dia camni, i mule2 dulu panjat tembok round 1. then round 2 nk panjat lagi??? HAHAHah guard tak kasi. Cibai. Nevermind, so what happened was i went to the guard house in the main entrance and got the guard to hitch me a ride back to my place. So sweet of him la but i was kind ascared coz dia celah2 macam nak buat race mane tah. the bumps are so bumpy i felt like flying off the bike. pfft takpe, janji selamat. mom and i started talking back slowly but she gets on my nerves gak ah, but with my cousin around, she channels my annoyed feelings away and thank god for that. sian la mak dia nk chao esok, and i officially have not done anything during the week thanks to my dad who is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo responsible. thanks pa, cepat sikit lah berikan ku kebebasan KU. which is ma doughh. come on laaaa bosan la duduk rumah!! Haishhh! i wanna go out on vacation and get something that i want. damn it i was so happy when i saw man u menang! i almost choked on my food. van der saar sexy ahhh. nani cam comel. ape nama korean/japanese tuh, park? pok? pet? hahaahaha. whateva. salute ya'll! give it to me baby! Who said we're the losers man? Pls dong, itu ga bener sama skali deh. pening kepale now. ive been havin regular headaches and adoh adoh, i sleep it off je pun. So next agenda, i feel like my mind is kotor-ed dengan cousin aku nye ayat2 cursing ni. she is one hell of a woman and hahaha today, many things happened. best je lepak dgn dia raasa cam ada kakak and yeah a bit of chaos in life wont hurt kan? ahahaahha. its abt time to spice things up. damn i missed out on janda baik, karaoke. takpa family first, nanti once smua dah sudah akan ku jalan2 cari pasal la dengan bebeh's ku. and iqa, i dont get it, when did u go out with me? ive been out the whole day with my fam today and u said i went out with u? erm.. when ? lol. reply my text woman. spoze to go watch movie sometime next week if im free and if he's free, not sure ah. its gonna be so awkward but tu lah, like i said, depends. my tummy dont feel too good. i think its the pineapples or maybe the milo i dont know. :( waaaaaaaaa. i'm going to bed lah now. xoxo! waiting a text from someone!! hmmft! cepat! nanites!!

The yenadei's..

Hahahaha fucking ha. I went in my house like some pencuri had to climb the tembok macam sial. Pffft. I dont know lah. Went to celebrate the darling roomate of mine punya birthday yang dah o so tua hehe ( sama je age kau ngan ku ), and kak yahhh hehehe fraffle and nigglets hahahahahaha your maid cracks me up!! Awww, now were legal, LEGALIZE IT BABY! Weeeee. Panas terik cuaca nihh, the cupcakes tadi made me wanna have more cupcakes. Oh tidak. hahaha. I am so pening right now. Police tadi sumpah ah comel when me afeeya and iqa was in the car, the other one with me and iqa, not comel at all. And i drove back alone tu, ade la pok pok sekalian nihhh mengacau ketenteraman hidupku. MENGAPA LAAAAAA. I hate people in uniforms, dah on duty, do your duty and stop gettin dirrrty, i actually had to bribe them with my telephone number, and random numbers are already poppin out. Ni la mama always say" mayyy dont come back late, dangerous and tak elok balik lambat macam pompuan liar blablabla" Sheeshness. Apakah!? adoiai. Secara sengalnye, i was still havvin aunty rosie down the hood if ya know what i mean ;) I thought ahh, muahahahah dah takde, she went back but my back hurts rosie! Damn you. Le pimpley, poppin nih tak suka tak suka. I wake up tremendously late and it annoys me because i feel like i'm missing out on life hahaahahaha. Sebab tak bangun pagi ah konon. Cehh. Gossip : Do i scare that particular person sometimes, i wonder.. Hmm but the fact that i never thought of havin the slightest gist macro feelings to u before, so i guess it stays as that only lah. A good friend. Qualified to be bestfriend? Heheh not yet la ye. Funny la u, hahaha swine flu, non halal flu? Kahkahkah. What the efffff. Huhuhu. Pening pening, someone throw me some pills. Ade ke abang aku nk jadi "father" i WONDER what father. Father tang mano eh? hahaha, if the father i think tuh, get pill perancang pls. You will be the first to have a dozen of mini ian's runnin around hahahaha. Happy mummy jaga nanti. Kurus dia. Haaahahaha. Okay, back to general subjects, the weather is being a pain in the ass and membuatkan i mandi berkali-kali. And kamu yang keje di G.E.M.T itu, mengapa suddenly kamu message saya? Suddenly oni. pelik ah u. Takyah message or call, i will be forever sihat walaufiat, dont worry and tak perlu baik-baik dengan i. Just forget about being friends perhaps :) Were better off that way. Nice to know u, thanks for everything and Sorry kalau dikau terasa dengan sikapku, ayatku dan tingkahlaku ku---------------- END. I so wanna go for freedom, I have the 2 days pass, but wot tha flick, i cant man, its the date of my flight ahhhh, im gonna be outta town!! And ade orang kirim perisai, i tak tau apekajadah kau nak perisai tuh, nak ubati sakit hatimu ke? Lol. And yes, now my alibi's are strong, you believe he and i never had anything la kan, i dont know about him but i think so far till now, we've always been friends. Nothing more than that. The things u heard are ceritera kera, dah lamo dah ekau nihh. TFTZ, I minta mahap tak dapek nak jumpa you, wednesday or thurdsay please keep your day free for me, its been ages since ive seen you. Im gonna pelok u till you lemas in my dakapan and laugh till the moon drops on us. Hahahahha. Rindu lah! Jangan balik kedah dulu!! Wait for me pls. Anyway i'm gonna hit teh bed naaaw, sudah pening sakit otucks and mater so xoxoxoxo goooodnight love.

- me & bantal -

ps* Happy birthday again dear roomate ku! ;)) Have a blast! Love u baby!